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From: ISKCON DC <ISKCON.DC@pamho.net>
Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2011 20:28 +0530
Subject: Obstacles in sharing Krishna consciousness due to past conditioning
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Digest 352: July 6th, 2011. Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami Maharaja
You are invited to send your questions to His Holiness Romapada Swami at
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Obstacles in sharing Krishna consciousness due to past conditioning
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728) In one of your lecture/discussion, where you are speaking about
preaching or sharing Krishna consciousness with other people, you say
something like, ''... if the door isn't open, don't try to go in.'

After I took to Krishna consciousness, I realized that to a certain degree I
am conditioned to see others as 'having the door closed.' This is because I
grew up always experiencing that whenever I would try to express a belief in
God, it would be denied or ridiculed by my mother. My mother became an
atheist before I was born (I believe in part due to unpleasant experiences
attending Catholic school). After experiencing Krishna consciousness and
the association of devotees, I feel much more comfortable overtly expressing
my belief in God or Krishna. However I sometimes see that my conditioning is
still there and feel that it is likely to stand in the way of my ability to
help others come to Krishna consciousness. I wonder if there is anything
specific which I can focus on to try to overcome this?

Answer: There are two aspects to this question: (1) Objectively, it is
important to learn to properly discriminate *how* to open our hearts
intelligenly to share Krishna consciousness with different types of people,
and (2) Subjectively, how to overcome your own past conditioning that
sometimes makes you hesitate to express your faith with confidence, even to
those who may be open to it, due to fear of being ridiculed or rejected.

As far as proper discrimination goes, one of the injunctions for chanting
the Holy Name offenselessly is the following prohibition: *To instruct a
faithless person about the glories of the holy name. (Anyone can take part
in chanting the holy name of the Lord, but in the beginning one should not
be instructed about the transcendental potency of the Lord. Those who are
too sinful cannot appreciate the transcendental glories of the Lord, and
therefore it is better not to instruct them in this matter.)* (NOD, Ch 8)
Not only it could make them more obstinate or offensive, but it could also
potentially damage/weaken our own faith. Rupa Goswami also recommends that
we should open our hearts with like-minded devotees - that is most conducive
to bhakti. (NOI 4) Confidential exchanges with atheistic or strongly
materialistic persons can potentially damage our bhakti. Confidential
exchange could mean discussing one's own personal life, decisions, desires
and goals; but on a deeper level, knowledge of spirit and of God are the
most confidential subjects. Of course, by its very definition, preaching
involves 'knocking on other's doors', glorifying the Lord, and soliciting or
inviting them to do the same. One is advised to not receive advice from
atheistic and materialistic persons in either of these two categories of
confidential matters. Proper discrimination is, therefore, the key.

Actually, sharing of Krishna consciousness can be most effectively done,
even when hearts are not yet fully opened, on the foundation of developing a
loving relationship.

A devotee is recommended to cultivate loving service feelings for the
Supreme Lord and the Spiritual Master; to cultivate friendly relationship
with other like-minded devotees; to cultivate compassion towards innocent
and unfortunate persons; and to avoid and neglect those who are critical and
envious. (Please study Nectar of Instruction Text 4-5) This is the essence
of discrimination.

And when a loving spiritual relationship is built - founded on mutual
respect, trust and genuine mood of service -- in the background of that
relationship, discussions of Krishna and His messages will be most potent.

Speaking about Krishna is not the only way to reach out and share Krishna
consciousness; more important and more effective is your own acting with
Vaishnava qualities -- particularly in those cases where you sense a 'closed
door.'

With this guideline in mind, begin by thoughtfully and selectively sharing
your realizations with some open-minded persons who are innocent and who
exhibit some appreciation and attraction for these messages. And invest time
in building deep, solid loving spiritual relationships. By doing so in a
mood of service, to please Krishna, your strength, confidence and
convictions will grow deeper. From that position of strength you will feel
increasingly comfortable and expert how to share with others who may be a
bit less open.

As a devotee becomes more mature in his/her devotion, he/she becomes
increasingly empowered to help and transform the hearts of even those with
strong misconceptions or a closed heart. Srila Prabhupada could transform
the most difficult cases of hardened atheists, impersonalists and
materialists. Vidura was able to force open the heart of even blind and
attached Dhritarashtra, because of the loving relationship he had built.

Like a medical student in training, consider yourself as an apprentice --
try to assist in the preaching of such advanced, empowered preachers, and
carefully follow their instructions. Deeply meditate upon their qualities
and the way they interact with different persons -- for example, the
intensity of humility and compassion with which Prabhupada prayed in the
song he wrote on the Jaladuta, or how he conquered the heart of Dr. Mishra
who was philosophically at complete odds with him, and so on. As you become
absorbed in such meditations, your heart will become increasingly filled
with those deeper knowledge, conviction, compassion, humility, feelings of
dependence on Krishna -- in the presence of these sun-like qualities, the
crippling effects of your own past experiences will fade away.

Another thing you can do to directly address such past experiences is to
begin seeing them as wonderful learning experiences, rather than as a
debilitating one. The more a devotee learns to see Krishna's hand in
everything, the more he/she begins to consider what he thought a seeming
misfortune is actually a special gift from Krishna. By this change of
attitude, you will find so much to learn from those memories and
experiences. Having gone through that experience with your mother, for
example, you now have a very special advantage to be more understanding and
compassionate towards those with similar difficulties. You can now be more
perceptive of what it is that is fundamentally making such persons 'close
their doors' - perhaps their own bad experiences, or some misconception or
fear about religion or religious persons etc. You are not likely to
dogmatically impose your convictions upon someone who is not yet experienced
or received the mercy you have been fortunate to receive. And you need not
make the same mistake of expecting support or validation for your beliefs
from those persons. Rather, now you can be more considerate, and your
compassion and understanding and gentle dealings may be the very means that
can touch their hearts and encourage them to open the door once again!

And, you can feel deeper appreciation and gratitude for having now received
these wonderful teachings which have the touch-stone like potency of
transforming even those unfavorable situations into favorable! Whenever you
experience similar situations or a relapse of your old inhibitions, take
shelter of these teachings and how you can apply them to add transcendental
wisdom to what you have learned by past experience.

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Digests 1-351 are available with subject classification at
http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=inquiries
Digest 1-242 are included as a PDF file at:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/Inquiries/IITA_full.pdf
Lectures: http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=audio
Brief biography of His Holiness Romapada Swami:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=HHRPS_bio
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--
Yours
Dinesh

Obstacles in sharing Krishna consciousness due to past conditioning