Summer 2012 Newsletter Loving Vaisnava Exchanges Differences can be aying, we have all experienced it. Differences of opinion, differences in taste, differences in mannerism, differences in needs...... "If only the whole world would be like me things would go so much smoother, right?" "What, you think the whole world should be like you?" "Houston, we have a problem!" In every type of relationship, and especially marriages, differences can be a challenge. How often have we heard the term, "irreconcilable differences" and seen the sad result which follow. There is a vast amount of marital research which shows many of these irreconcilable differences can be reconciled through mutual understanding and respect. One of these differences is how we accept and receive loving affection. In the pastimes of Lord Caitanya we can observe how the mellows of affection are manifest in incredibly different ways. Jagadananda Pandit's love was manifest as a desire to give the Lord gifts to aid the Lord's comfort. This was so important to Jadananda that he locked himself up and fasted for days when the Lord Caitanya did not accept his offering of sandal wood oil. Damodara has such a strong desire to serve the Lord by protecting him from criticism that he would even chastise the Lord out of transcendental love. As minute parts of the Supreme Whole we also have very unique and individual ways of reciprocating love with Krsna and His devotees. In this article we would like to examine how we can understand, respect and honor the affectionate propensities of our spouses and ourselves. By learning to understand our own heart and affectionately touch each other hearts we will one day be able to touch the heart of Krsna. Do the following short quiz to find out what your language of love is. Have your partner do it also, so you will know what their's is. Click here for the Languages of Love and Appreciation Quiz Loving exchanges Between Vaisnavas at the home of Partha and Uttama, GVT members Loving Exchanges between Vaisnavas Srila Prabhupada describes how the living entity is only happy when they have someone to love. We understand from scripture what types of services Krsna wants from us. Read through the short descriptions of the 5 broad categores below and find ways to offer vaisnava loving exchanges to your spouse, children and friends according to the type of exchange that would be most pleasing to them. Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation: Compliments, words of encouragement, and "requests rather than demands" all affirm the self-worth of your spouse. Finish this sentence regarding your spouse, and then say these things to him/her: "I love and appreciate you because ________________________________________________________________________." Love Language #2 Quality Time: Spending quality time together through sharing, listening, and participating in joint meaningful activities communicates that we truly care for and enjoy being with each other. (Sharing confidences are two of Srila Rupa Goswami's Six Loving Exchanges.) When was the last time you gave your spouse your undivided attention? Think of two ways you could share quality time with your spouse in the next few days…with chores and tasks on standby, the cell phone off, knife and fork down, etc. 1. ___________________________________________ 2. ____________________________________ Love Language #3 Receiving Gifts: Giving and receiving gifts are two of Srila Rupa Goswami's Six Loving Exchanges.Gifts are visual symbols of love, whether they are items you purchased or made, or are merely your own presence make available to your spouse. Gifts demonstrate that you care, and they represent the value of the relationship. Work up a list of appreciated gifts you have given your spouse in the past. Beyond that, seek more input from others who know his/her tastes. Now decide to give one token of love, however small, in line with those preferences each week for the next month. Love Language #4 Acts of Service: Criticism of your spouse's failure to do things for you may be an indication that "acts of service" is your primary love language. Acts of service should never be coerced but should be freely given and received, and completed as requested. Pick four tasks that you wish your spouse would do for you. Be ready to receive the same, and work out adjustments that are based on mutual love rather than coercion or a legalistic swap. Keep practical schedules in mind. 1. ________________________________________ 2. _______________________________________ 3. __________________________________________ 4. ________________________________________ Love Language #5: Physical Touch: Physical touch, as a love language, it is a powerful form of communication even from the smallest touch on the shoulder. Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. A tender hug communicates love to any child, but it shouts love to the child whose primary love language is physical touch. The same is true of adults. Consider how attitudes and paradigms from ISKCON, your family and the outside world have affected your attitudes about touch and affection. We all like most of these exchanges, but there will be one, that if it is missing from our lives, we will not feel that our spouse or parents really love us. We are all different and just because we may really feel appreciated when someone gives us a small gift, another may not; they may be need words of appreciation. You may treat all your children the same but may find that one child thinks you don't love them as much as the others. It may be that you are not speaking their particular love language often enough, while you may be speaking those of your other children. Finding out which love language to use can go along way to making others feel loved and appreciated. Dear Grhastha Coach At what point in a relationship do you know that you are ready to get married? I really want to know because I am trying to consider marriage now. Krsna's servant Dear Krsna's Servant, When you have the blessings of your elders (guru, parents, etc.) and when you are ready to be responsible, then as Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur has stated, "marriage is a good institution for a vaisnava." The grhastha asrama is a very good place for spiritual growth. It is best if you work on yourself -first-- to be the husband of the kind of spouse you want. Don't be like the man who wants his wife to be like Sitadevi when he is not ready to be like Rama. Understand that marriage -- spiritual, conscious marriage means being a better servant. This is a very important point. Prepare yourself mentally by taking care to be steady and regular in your chanting and your sadhana, devotional practices. Are you as regulated as you would like? Do you read Srila Prabhupada's books daily? Do you make a sincere effort to keep yourself in good association? Prepare yourself physically by ensuring that you have some employment or are acquiring some education to be able to have the resources to take care of a family. Read the story of Kardama Muni and Devahuti in the Srimad Bhagwatam and read some other good books about marriage and family and about healthy communication. Finally, consult with elders you trust in your community about their experiences. And, there should be preparation for the couple beforehand in addition to your personal preparation. If at all possible, have a mature, healthy couple, a mentor couple, work with you and the Vaisnavi to prepare you with good communication skills, help you look realistically at the responsibility of married life, help you establish goals, talk about being parents and what particular desires you have in this regard and other relevant relationship topics including intimacy and finance. You and the young lady should be compatible and if possible, you can have a Vaisnava astrologer do a compatibility chart. I do not see astrology as the absolute authority, though so be very prayerful and use reasonable sense in interpreting the results. Srila Prabhupada has suggested that around 26 years of age is a good age for men and from 16 onward is a good age for girls. A man who is serious about his spiritual growth and connection with Krsna should honestly see himself as an instrument to care for one of Krsna's precious parts and parcels. Likewise, a woman should consider herself the same. In a healthy spiritual marriage, we get what we want-- some enjoyment and a companion and a caring friend who will help us develop in spiritual life-- And Krsna gets what he wants -- a blessed arena for raising children and a couple who will support spiritual life wherever they are. (This support comes from them giving in charity and being good examples.) The Grhastha Vision Team (GVT) is about to publish a book "Heart and Soul Connection: A Devotional Guide to Marriage, Service and Love." When this book comes out, we will let you know because you will want to get a copy. Please see our website at www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org for some very helpful articles on this topic. I hope this introduction helps as you consider your readiness for marriage. Your Grhastha Coach Facebook Twitter The Grihastha Vision Team www.VaisnavaFamilyResources.org gvisionteam108@yahoo.com

[Vaishnava Family Resources] Summer Newsletter 2012

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Sri Radha Govinda Brooklyn, New York

Today's Dinner

Lust, Greed and Anger are the three enemies that leads us to Hell. Every sane man should avoid these things for the good of self and those around.

>
> Me: God, can I ask You a question?
> God: Sure
> Me: Promise You won't get mad
> ... ... ... God: I promise
> Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today
> God: What do u mean?
> Me: Well, I woke up late
> God: Yes
> Me: My car took forever to start
> God: Okay
> Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
> God: Huummm
> Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
> God: All right
> Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet
> in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right
> today! Why did You do that?
> God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to
> send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through
> that
> Me (humbled): OH
> GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your
> route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
> Me: (ashamed)
> God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want
> you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
> Me (embarrassed):Okay
> God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to
> give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you
> talk to them so you would be covered.
> Me (softly): I see God
> God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to put out
> all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in
> the dark.
> Me: I'm Sorry God
> God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things, the Good &
> the Bad.
> Me: I will TRUST You.
> God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your
> plan.
> Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything
> today.
> God: You're welcome child.

Trust in the plans of God

 While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 yr old son picked up a stone
and
scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's
hand
and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital,
the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw
his father.....with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow
back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and
kicked
it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions.......sitting in front of
that
car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.The
next
day that man committed suicide.  Anger and Love have no limits; choose the
latter to have a beautiful, lovely life..... Things are to be used and
people
are to be loved. But the problem in today's world is that, People are used
and
things are loved.... In this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in
mind: Things are to be used, but
People are to be loved.  Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your
words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch
your
habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder. God bless you. If you
don't pass this on to anybody, nothing bad will happen; if you do, you will
have ministered to someone.
__._,_.___

Anger-in-Love...Love-in-Anger

Atlanta temple and the city

Atlast South Indian Idlies after long time, yesterday

From: "Krishna.com Ebook Club" <ebookclub@krishna.com>
Date: July 20, 2012 5:00:40 AM EDT
To: <dineshkrishna108@gmail.com>
Subject: Bhagavad-gita As It Is | Part [BG.18.35]

Bhagavad-gita As It Is | July 20, 2012 Part [BG.18.35]   TEXT 54: brahma-bhutah prasannatma na socati na kankshati samah sarveshu bhuteshu mad-bhaktim labhate param   TRANSLATION: One who is thus transcendentally situated at once realizes the Supreme Brahman and becomes fully joyful. He never laments or desires to have anything. He is equally disposed toward every living entity. In that state he attains pure devotional service unto Me.   PURPORT: To the impersonalist, achieving the brahma-bhuta stage, becoming one with the Absolute, is the last word. But for the personalist, or pure devotee, one has to go still further, to become engaged in pure devotional service. This means that one who is engaged in pure devotional service to the Supreme Lord is already in a state of liberation, called brahma-bhuta, oneness with the Absolute. Without being one with the Supreme, the Absolute, one cannot render service unto Him. In the absolute conception, there is no difference between the served and the servitor; yet the distinction is there, in a higher spiritual sense.   In the material concept of life, when one works for sense gratification, there is misery, but in the absolute world, when one is engaged in pure devotional service, there is no misery. The devotee in Krishna consciousness has nothing for which to lament or desire. Since God is full, a living entity who is engaged in God's service, in Krishna consciousness, becomes also full in himself. He is just like a river cleansed of all dirty water. Because a pure devotee has no thought other than Krishna, he is naturally always joyful. He does not lament for any material loss or aspire for gain, because he is full in the service of the Lord. He has no desire for material enjoyment, because he knows that every living entity is a fragmental part and parcel of the Supreme Lord and therefore eternally a servant. He does not see, in the material world, someone as higher and someone as lower; higher and lower positions are ephemeral, and a devotee has nothing to do with ephemeral appearances or disappearances. For him stone and gold are of equal value. This is the brahma-bhuta stage, and this stage is attained very easily by the pure devotee. In that stage of existence, the idea of becoming one with the Supreme Brahman and annihilating one's individuality becomes hellish, the idea of attaining the heavenly kingdom becomes phantasmagoria, and the senses are like serpents' teeth that are broken. As there is no fear of a serpent with broken teeth, there is no fear from the senses when they are automatically controlled. The world is miserable for the materially infected person, but for a devotee the entire world is as good as Vaikuntha, or the spiritual sky. The highest personality in this material universe is no more significant than an ant for a devotee. Such a stage can be achieved by the mercy of Lord Caitanya, who preached pure devotional service in this age.  Krishna.com is a registered non-profit. Every donation we receive goes directly to support the website and the many services Krishna.com offers visitors like you. Please consider making a donation. Or shop in the Krishna.com store; all proceeds support the site too!   Translation and commentary by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada   Discuss this book in the forum: http://www.krishna.com/forums/ebook-club/bhagavad-gita-11282009   To listen to this book free (and more options): http://www.krishna.com/audiobook   To buy the print edition of this book: http://store.krishna.com/Detail.bok?no=2325   Please read the Terms & Conditions of this eBook Club. All materials © copyright The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International, Inc. http://www.krishna.com/terms-and-conditions

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The highest personality in this material universe is no more significant than an ant for a devotee [BG.18.35]

One can achieve the highest perfectional stage simply by being engaged in his occupational duty, performing that duty for the Supreme Personality of Godhead [BG.18.33]

From The Secret Daily Teachings

The fastest way to become the Master of your thoughts and emotions is through challenging situations. If your life is going along fairly smoothly, there are not the same opportunities that enable you to strengthen your power and become the Master of your thoughts and emotions.

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions

Challenges are beautiful opportunities in disguise

Harinaam in union square New York

Srila Prabhupada in Bhakti center

Yours
Dinesh

Sri Radha GovindaHari, Sri Radha Muralidhara , naam, New York city

For instance we see that great acharyas who had the body of men here are female servants of Srimati Radharani or the Gopis. Also souls in the body of women may not necessarily be of female spiritual form in the spiritual world, they can be even Gopa Kumaras or the cowherd boy friends of Krishna.

Man or woman body in this world not necessarily require the spiritual form to be of same gender in spiritual world.

Either girl or boy devotees may deliver lecture if they choose to do. We have no such distinction of bodily designations, male or female

This even applies to services a devotee is capable of performing under the directions of an appropriate senior devotee guiding him/her. HH.Jayadvaita swami quotes that Srila Prabhupada was very expert in understanding the nature of a person and his capabilities.

For instance, Srila Prabhupada would be very strict and hard in his dealings with HH.Tamal Krishna gosvami Maharaja while he was very gentle and not hard with HG.Srura Kirti Prabhu because by his nature, he was a very soft person.


Actually if our words are helping the devotees to make progress then we are actually serving him or her. So it should be very carefully dealt because by simply pushing a person whose nature is not to perform one type of service (that we want him or her to do)we end up in making him frustrated and heart broken and even to the extent of making the person leaving the movement.


Yours
Dinesh

Bhagavad Gita As It Is

TEXT 47:
sreyan sva-dharmo vigunah
para-dharmat sv-anushthitat
svabhava-niyatam karma
kurvan napnoti kilbisham



TRANSLATION
It is better to engage in one's own occupation, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another's occupation and perform it perfectly. Duties prescribed according to one's nature are never affected by sinful reactions.

PURPORT:

One's occupational duty is prescribed in Bhagavad-gita. As already discussed in previous verses, the duties of a brahmana, kshatriya, vaisya and sudra are prescribed according to their particular modes of nature. One should not imitate another's duty. A man who is by nature attracted to the kind of work done by sudras should not artificially claim to be a brahmana, although he may have been born into a brahmana family. In this way one should work according to his own nature; no work is abominable, if performed in the service of the Supreme Lord. The occupational duty of a brahmana is certainly in the mode of goodness, but if a person is not by nature in the mode of goodness, he should not imitate the occupational duty of a brahmana. For a kshatriya, or administrator, there are so many abominable things; a kshatriya has to be violent to kill his enemies, and sometimes a kshatriya has to tell lies for the sake of diplomacy. Such violence and duplicity accompany political affairs, but a kshatriya is not supposed to give up his occupational duty and try to perform the duties of a brahmana.


One should act to satisfy the Supreme Lord. For example, Arjuna was a kshatriya. He was hesitating to fight the other party. But if such fighting is performed for the sake of Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, there need be no fear of degradation. In the business field also, sometimes a merchant has to tell so many lies to make a profit. If he does not do so, there can be no profit. Sometimes a merchant says, "Oh, my dear customer, for you I am making no profit," but one should know that without profit the merchant cannot exist. Therefore it should be taken as a simple lie if a merchant says that he is not making a profit. But the merchant should not think that because he is engaged in an occupation in which the telling of lies is compulsory, he should give up his profession and pursue the profession of a brahmana. That is not recommended. Whether one is a kshatriya, a vaisya, or a sudra doesn't matter, if he serves, by his work, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Even brahmanas, who perform different types of sacrifice, sometimes must kill animals because sometimes animals are sacrificed in such ceremonies. Similarly, if a kshatriya engaged in his own occupation kills an enemy, there is no sin incurred. In the Third Chapter these matters have been clearly and elaborately explained; every man should work for the purpose of Yajna, or for Vishnu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Anything done for personal sense gratification is a cause of bondage. The conclusion is that everyone should be engaged according to the particular mode of nature he has acquired, and he should decide to work only to serve the supreme cause of the Supreme Lord.

Translation and commentary by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

It is better to perform work of our nature faultily than to accept another's occupation and doing it perfectly [BG.18.30]

The verdict of all revealed scriptures is that by even a moment's association with a pure devotee, one can attain all success.

Humbly Begging for Their Mercy

From the small crowds we generated during our first spontaneous festivals along the Polish beaches during the early 1990's,  750,000 people now attend our well-organized festivals each summer. This summer our goal is to attract over one million guests. Such a feat is only possible by the causeless mercy of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu and His dear most servant, Srila Prabhupada. We humbly beg their mercy.

"It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win."

[ John Paul Jones, Commander, United States Navy, 1776 ]

The early days: a festival on the beach, 1993.

Humbly Begging for Their Mercy

A Festival in Poland to Satisfy the Lord

"An intelligent person does not take interest in a place, even in the topmost planetary system, if the pure Ganges of topics concerning the Supreme Lord's activities does not flow there, if there are not devotees engaged in service on the banks of such a river of piety, or if there are no festivals of sankirtan yajna to satisfy the Lord."

[ Srimad Bhagvatam, 5.19.24 ]

Our festival program on the Baltic Sea, Poland

A Festival in Poland to Satisfy the Lord

TEXT 47:

sreyan sva-dharmo vigunah

para-dharmat sv-anushthitat

svabhava-niyatam karma

kurvan napnoti kilbisham

TRANSLATION:

It is better to engage in one's own occupation, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another's occupation and perform it perfectly. Duties prescribed according to one's nature are never affected by sinful reactions.

PURPORT:

One's occupational duty is prescribed in Bhagavad-gita. As already discussed in previous verses, the duties of a brahmana, kshatriya, vaisya and sudra are prescribed according to their particular modes of nature. One should not imitate another's duty. A man who is by nature attracted to the kind of work done by sudras should not artificially claim to be a brahmana, although he may have been born into a brahmana family. In this way one should work according to his own nature; no work is abominable, if performed in the service of the Supreme Lord. The occupational duty of a brahmana is certainly in the mode of goodness, but if a person is not by nature in the mode of goodness, he should not imitate the occupational duty of a brahmana. For a kshatriya, or administrator, there are so many abominable things; a kshatriya has to be violent to kill his enemies, and sometimes a kshatriya has to tell lies for the sake of diplomacy. Such violence and duplicity accompany political affairs, but a kshatriya is not supposed to give up his occupational duty and try to perform the duties of a brahmana.

One should act to satisfy the Supreme Lord. For example, Arjuna was a kshatriya. He was hesitating to fight the other party. But if such fighting is performed for the sake of Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, there need be no fear of degradation. In the business field also, sometimes a merchant has to tell so many lies to make a profit. If he does not do so, there can be no profit. Sometimes a merchant says, "Oh, my dear customer, for you I am making no profit," but one should know that without profit the merchant cannot exist. Therefore it should be taken as a simple lie if a merchant says that he is not making a profit. But the merchant should not think that because he is engaged in an occupation in which the telling of lies is compulsory, he should give up his profession and pursue the profession of a brahmana. That is not recommended. Whether one is a kshatriya, a vaisya, or a sudra doesn't matter, if he serves, by his work, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Even brahmanas, who perform different types of sacrifice, sometimes must kill animals because sometimes animals are sacrificed in such ceremonies. Similarly, if a kshatriya engaged in his own occupation kills an enemy, there is no sin incurred. In the Third Chapter these matters have been clearly and elaborately explained; every man should work for the purpose of Yajna, or for Vishnu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Anything done for personal sense gratification is a cause of bondage. The conclusion is that everyone should be engaged according to the particular mode of nature he has acquired, and he should decide to work only to serve the supreme cause of the Supreme Lord.

No work is abominable, if performed in the service of the Supreme Lord - [BG.18.30]

We should try to be like the bees that go after the honey instead of the flies that go after stool.

Relationships are Everything

Relationships are Everything