From: "bhakti.vikasa.swami"
Radha-vallabha: He is nineteen years old, the boy that wrote that. And he
made arrangement with another devotee to marry her daughter at a later date.She's only twelve. So I've told him not to do anything until I spoke to you,because I don't think this has ever been done in our movement yet, the Vedicsystem. So I had a few questions about it. First of all I told them thatthey shouldn't associate until the actual time that they get married. That'strue, isn't it?Prabhupada: No, no, [before] marriage, they do not speak. That is thedisease in your country, that... There is no objection nineteen-years-oldboy and twelve-years girl, it is very good combination, but the culture isso bad that after few days they will separate.Radha-vallabha: Yes. That's the actual problem.Prabhupada: If they stick to have one husband and one wife, it is very good.Or even the man can marry more than one wife. That is allowed in the Vedicsystem. The difficulty is nobody remains as wife, nobody remains husband. Itis very dangerous. That is against Vedic... Otherwise man can have more thanone wife, but woman cannot marry more than one husband. But the system --the boys and girls intermingle so freely, and in your country there is norestriction -- naturally it becomes adulterated. That is the danger.Radha-vallabha: So he wanted to know that...Prabhupada: Knowing or no knowing, they'll not do it even. So what is theuse of consulting me? They'll break. They'll promise and they'll break. Howyou can make them standardized? They will break.Radha-vallabha: They have to be responsible people.Prabhupada: They'll never become. That is my experience. So what is the useof consulting me? They'll never become. Almost impossible. They'll not keepstandardized.Radha-vallabha: So then it should just be up to them.Prabhupada: What is the use of consulting? They'll promise and they'llbreak.Radha-vallabha: Yes, you were telling me in Hawaii about that, that that isthe difficulty. They have no responsibility. All right, I'll tell him that.Prabhupada: Otherwise there is no objection. I married; my wife was elevenyears old.Radha-vallabha: You were responsible, though.Prabhupada: Everyone in India responsible. That is Indian culture still.Radha-vallabha: When they agree at this young age, they should wait tillthey get older, right?Prabhupada: Yes. Generally a girl attains puberty at fourteen years,thirteen years. In India, because it is tropical climate... I think inWestern countries they attain puberty not before fifteen, sixteen years. Soalthough a girl is married before puberty, she is not allowed to go to thehusband until she has attained puberty. Formerly, in our days also, afterattaining puberty there is another, second marriage. Then the husband andwife live together.Radha-vallabha: Is there a minimum age for the man?Prabhupada: Minimum age means generally the husband must be older than thewife, at least five years' difference.Radha-vallabha: What is the most amount of years they can be different? Whatis the maximum amount of years there can be difference?Prabhupada: Man has no maximum. Even an eighty-years-old man can marry asixteen-years-old girl. [laughter]Radha-vallabha: Because this one devotee has a daughter twelve, and hewanted to marry her to a man twenty-six, but he thought that was too muchdifference.Prabhupada: Yes. That is too much difference. But eight years, ten yearsusual.Radha-vallabha: Eight or ten years is best. So he also wanted to know if...Prabhupada: That is healthy.Radha-vallabha: He wanted to know also...Prabhupada: And in no case... The girl must not be older than the boy.That's not good at all.Radha-vallabha: At the time of the agreement, when they are not yet oldenough, they do not associate at all. So not until the actual marriage dothey associate or wear white or anything like that.Prabhupada: No, even they can be married, but no association.Ref. VedaBase => Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapur
--
Good advice about marriage, but they will not take it
These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
0 comments
Post a Comment