When we become honest then we have a chance to become humble. To be honest is not so easy because we are so use to cheating others and we so use to cheating ourselves, we believe our own lies but if we actually become honest then the result will be humility.
(Dramatic) 'Prabhu, I am the most fallen, I am so sinful, lower than a worm in stool, I am so sinful that anyone who just sees me loses all his pious credits.' If a psychiatrist would hear about this they would immediately admit such a person in the hospital! 'This person is on the edge of suicide, very dangerous so put him in the hospital!' and this person happens to be Krsnadas Kaviraja Gosvami! So how is it possible for a vaisnava to speak like that about himself, 'lower than a worm in stool.' 'What's wrong with some self-esteem? This is very healthy.' No, a devotee is always remembering that, 'I have no credits, Krsna gives me His credits.' Anyway, when we look at Krsnadas Kaviraja Gosvami, there are these two verses: lower than a worm in the stool and more sinful and so on. So these two verses are there but then there is a third verse and the third verse says that, 'despite the lack of my qualification, I received the mercy of Lord Nityananda.' This is described as 'dainya- bodhika,' to think oneself as very fallen. One the one hand we see ourselves as fallen but on the other hand we think, but I got the mercy. So then you don't become depressed. Otherwise, 'yes I'm lower than a worm in stool, I'm a hopeless case, I'm just totally fallen, is there a bridge somewhere? Yes I'm going to jump off a bridge…' that's natural then. But we always should remember that we got the mercy also.
(Kadamba Kanana Swami, August 2011, New Vraja Mandala, Spain)
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