T
he Ideal Grihasthais a
BrahmachariSri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami
Maharaja
Gåhastha-äçrama
means that there is some concessionfor material enjoyment, sexual enjoyment. But
there is some restriction. Unless one has practiced
brahmacarya
, he cannot become a real gåhastha.He becomes
gåha-vrata, gåhamedhé. He becomesattached to home, hearth, wife, son, daughter, to the
last breath of his life. He cannot leave it.
Gåhasthaäçrama
is up to the fiftieth year. Until the fiftiethyear one can remain in
gåha and get some sexualenjoyment. This enjoyment, that enjoyment. Sons,
daughters, and so much burden will be there. He
will not be able to sleep at night, crying, crying,
crying. The wife's demands, son's demands, and
daughter's demands will all be there. So the old
man feels, "Oh, they are devouring me. I earn this
much money and there are so many demands.
What shall I do?"
Now he has gained this bad experience. Therefore
it is said,
dillékä laòòü — jo khäye wohpacchtäye, jo na khäye woh bhi pacchtäye
. Thisis a famous saying in Hindi: There is a famous
variety of
laòòü in Delhi. One who has eatenit, he laments. One who has not eaten, he too
laments. Yes. One who has become a
gåhastha,he has already eaten it. What is that
laòòü? It isthis enjoyment, sexual enjoyment. One who has
tasted it, he says, 'I have already experienced it.
Oh! No more, no more, no more!'
There is a story. There was a jackal who saw a
jungle of sweet sugarcane. He entered into it with
a desire to eat. There he saw a beehive that was
round in shape. He thought, "Oh, this is the fruit
of sugarcane. Sugarcane is so sweet, therefore the
fruit must be much sweeter, so I must eat the fruit
first, then I'll eat the sugarcane." So he tried to eat
it and immediately wasps came out, stinging him.
"Ohh! No more, no more, no more eating."
Therefore, in order to gain some experience,
one is allowed to become a
gåhastha. Guru says,'All right, go and become a
gåhastha. Accept awife and gain some experience. Enjoy and get the
reaction. Then you'll say, 'No more, no more, no
more!' and give up this thing.' If the guru observes
that he has material desires and cannot remain
brahmacäré
throughout life, he is allowed tomarry. He has already practiced celibacy during his
brahmacäré
period. So unless one becomes a goodbrahmacäré
, he cannot become a proper gåhastha.He becomes a
gåhamedhé, attached to home andhearth, wife, son, daughter, and all other enjoyment.
He is
adänta-gobhiù
, which means that he hasnot controlled his senses.
punaù punaç carvitacarvaëänäm— again and again he is chewing the
chewed [
Bhäg. 7.5.30].Gåhastha
is also a brahmacäré. He is knownas
upakurväëa-brahmacäré. Two types of brahmacärésare there:
naiñöika-brahmacäré, andupakurväëa-brahmacäré.
Both strictly follow therules and regulations of the
brahmacäré äçramaand become free from all material desires. A strict
brahmacäré
is free from all material desires. brähmaëo'gnir iva jvalan
— A brähmaëa who observesthe great vow of celibacy becomes brilliant like
fire [
Bhäg. 11.17.36]. He is not allowed to acceptmarriage.
He remains in
guru-gåha, the ashram ofthe guru, till the end of his life. He is a proper candidate
for
sannyäsa. The purpose of marriage is toaccept a wife who will produce a worthy son. A son
who is a
kåñëa-bhakta, a vaiñëava son, who willrender service to the senses of Krishna.
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