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Judger Questions
  • Whose fault is it?
    u
  • What’s wrong with me? 
    u
  • What’s wrong with the other person? 
    u
  • How can I prove I’m right? 
    u
  • How can I be in control? 
    u
  • Why bother?  
Generally lead to: 
  • A mood of pessimism, stress, and limitations 
  • A mindset that is reactive, inflexible, and judgmental 
  • Win-lose relationships and results (at work and at home) 

Learner Questions:

  • What do I want?
  • What do I appreciate about myself (and the other person)?
  • What’s useful about this?
  • What can I learn?
  • What’s possible?
  • What’s best to do now?
Generally lead to:
  • A mood of optimism, hope, and possibilities
  • A mindset that is thoughtful, flexible, and accepting
  • Win-win relationships and results (at work and at home)

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