From: "bhakti.vikasa.swami"

Radha-vallabha: He is nineteen years old, the boy that wrote that. And he

made arrangement with another devotee to marry her daughter at a later date.
She's only twelve. So I've told him not to do anything until I spoke to you,
because I don't think this has ever been done in our movement yet, the Vedic
system. So I had a few questions about it. First of all I told them that
they shouldn't associate until the actual time that they get married. That's
true, isn't it?
Prabhupada: No, no, [before] marriage, they do not speak. That is the
disease in your country, that... There is no objection nineteen-years-old
boy and twelve-years girl, it is very good combination, but the culture is
so bad that after few days they will separate.
Radha-vallabha: Yes. That's the actual problem.
Prabhupada: If they stick to have one husband and one wife, it is very good.
Or even the man can marry more than one wife. That is allowed in the Vedic
system. The difficulty is nobody remains as wife, nobody remains husband. It
is very dangerous. That is against Vedic... Otherwise man can have more than
one wife, but woman cannot marry more than one husband. But the system --
the boys and girls intermingle so freely, and in your country there is no
restriction -- naturally it becomes adulterated. That is the danger.
Radha-vallabha: So he wanted to know that...
Prabhupada: Knowing or no knowing, they'll not do it even. So what is the
use of consulting me? They'll break. They'll promise and they'll break. How
you can make them standardized? They will break.
Radha-vallabha: They have to be responsible people.
Prabhupada: They'll never become. That is my experience. So what is the use
of consulting me? They'll never become. Almost impossible. They'll not keep
standardized.
Radha-vallabha: So then it should just be up to them.
Prabhupada: What is the use of consulting? They'll promise and they'll
break.
Radha-vallabha: Yes, you were telling me in Hawaii about that, that that is
the difficulty. They have no responsibility. All right, I'll tell him that.
Prabhupada: Otherwise there is no objection. I married; my wife was eleven
years old.
Radha-vallabha: You were responsible, though.
Prabhupada: Everyone in India responsible. That is Indian culture still.
Radha-vallabha: When they agree at this young age, they should wait till
they get older, right?
Prabhupada: Yes. Generally a girl attains puberty at fourteen years,
thirteen years. In India, because it is tropical climate... I think in
Western countries they attain puberty not before fifteen, sixteen years. So
although a girl is married before puberty, she is not allowed to go to the
husband until she has attained puberty. Formerly, in our days also, after
attaining puberty there is another, second marriage. Then the husband and
wife live together.
Radha-vallabha: Is there a minimum age for the man?
Prabhupada: Minimum age means generally the husband must be older than the
wife, at least five years' difference.
Radha-vallabha: What is the most amount of years they can be different? What
is the maximum amount of years there can be difference?
Prabhupada: Man has no maximum. Even an eighty-years-old man can marry a
sixteen-years-old girl. [laughter]
Radha-vallabha: Because this one devotee has a daughter twelve, and he
wanted to marry her to a man twenty-six, but he thought that was too much
difference.
Prabhupada: Yes. That is too much difference. But eight years, ten years
usual.
Radha-vallabha: Eight or ten years is best. So he also wanted to know if...
Prabhupada: That is healthy.
Radha-vallabha: He wanted to know also...
Prabhupada: And in no case... The girl must not be older than the boy.
That's not good at all.
Radha-vallabha: At the time of the agreement, when they are not yet old
enough, they do not associate at all. So not until the actual marriage do
they associate or wear white or anything like that.
Prabhupada: No, even they can be married, but no association.

Ref. VedaBase => Room Conversation -- February 27, 1977, Mayapur

--

Good advice about marriage, but they will not take it

I love you.......

http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/a-little-girls-experiment-will-change-the-way-you-think-about-food/



Yours
Dinesh

A Little Girls Potato Experiment Will Change The Way You Think About Food!

Wisdom is not memorizing slokas, wisdom is applying the slokas to your life

 

Hare Krishna Prabhujis and Matajis,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudeva.

 

When people trouble/irritate us, give us pain, speak with us angrily, our normal natural tendency is to retaliate. The golden words, "No counteraction is the best counteraction", gets evaporated from our hearts and all we want to do is to take the judgement rod in our hands and punish the people who offend us. But if we introspect ourselves, how many times were we peaceful after such retaliation? Did it do any good to us or the people who offend us? The answer is always a "No". It only caused us more pain and suffering, and made others more and more inimical to us. So neither do we progress spiritually or materially, nor do we help other souls to go close to Krishna.

 

Ramayana tells us how Bharatha and Shatrughna were not present in Ayodhya at the time of Rama's exile. So once they returned to Ayodhya, they were shocked to hear about the death of king Dasaratha and Rama's exile to the forest, along with Sita and Lakshman for a period of 14 years. They became all the more furious when they heard that Kaikeyi had caused all this chaos, being instructed by her servant Manthara. After doing the final rites for their father, the sons returned to the palace. On the way they met Manthara and pulling her into the palace, Shatrughna said, "This wicked one shall now reap the fruits of her evil deeds! She has brought acute and unbearable pain to all in this house, as well as to all the citizens of Ayodhya. Watch now as I punish her!"

 

He dragged Manthara violently across the floor and her ornaments broke and scattered. Kaikeyi heard her servant screaming and came quickly to help her. Seeing her, Shatrughna began rebuking her with harsh words. Kaikeyi was pained by Shatrughna's sharp words and ran to Bharata for protection. Bharata moved away from his mother and spoke to the furious Shatrughna. He said "Even when sinful, women should never be slain. You should therefore forgive this maidservant. Indeed, I would have slain My own mother if the eternal moral law did not forbid it—and certainly such an act would never be pleasing to Rama. Our pious brother would never speak with Us again if He heard that We killed this woman."

 

Bharatha was definitely angry with his mother as well as with Manthara. But he was more concerned not to displease Lord Ram by punishing these women. This is a very important lesson for us. We are reminded of conversation between one devotee and our beloved spiritual master H H Mahavishnu Goswami Maharaj. That devotee asked Maharaj, "After your physical absence, if some one misbehaves, how to deal with them?" Maharaj gave a beautiful response. "Whenever you are speaking with that person, just think that I am standing right there next to you." Many a times we wrongly think Guru and Krishna are far far away and that it is our duty to take the judgement rod. As soon as we start thinking like that both Guru and Krishna will become silent spectators of our deeds and we will have to suffer the reactions for the same. On the other hand when we tolerate the miseries, just to please Them, then They will guide us to come out of all entanglements. Maharaj also used to say that the more you tolerate, the more good you do to your offenders.

 

In the above instance we find that Bharatha's statements, made Kaikeyi realize that she had done a grave injustice to Lord Ram. She had always loved Ram and wondered how she decided to send him to exile. She didn't feel like blaming Manthara also as she began to understand that it was all due to will of providence and even Manthara was just a instrument in the hands of destiny. So here we see that by not punishing Kaikeyi, Bharatha was able to help her realize her mistake.

 

So we pray at the lotus feet of Gurudev, Srila Prabhupada and Sri Krishna to help us to always remember Their presence next to us, so that we sanely tolerate the onslaughts of material nature. Only such tolerance can give us real peace of mind.

 

Thank you very much

Yours in service of Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudeva,

Sudarshana devi dasi

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[granthraj] Effects of Tolerance