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Gopis performing Devotional Service to the Lordships Sri Sri Radha Krishna

[Vaishnava Family Resources] Newsletter September 2012



Newsletter September 2012

Click here to the see the newsletter webpage

September 2012 Newsletter

 Better Japa, Better Marriage    by Arcana-siddhi devi dasi 

Recently someone asked me, " What causes a husband and wife who once seemed so happy together to become one another's worst enemy".  While I could have given a very elaborate answer, I replied, "Our material conditioning."  The questioner then asked, "Is there anything one can do to change their material conditioning?"

Conditioning is indeed difficult to change.  Education and awareness are certainly helpful, but ultimately the most efficacious way to change our conditioned responses to life's unpredictable provocations is our spiritual practices.

In the japa retreats I've helped to facilitate, we would pose two questions. " How do you feel after a morning of focused attentive japa?"  And "How do you feel after a morning of unfocused, inattentive japa or no japa?"  The responses were all similar.   Responses to the first question included adjectives such as peaceful, happy, fulfilled, resilient, kind, compassionate, understanding.   Adjectives to describe their feelings after a bad japa day included, scattered, depressed, unproductive, guilty, angry, anxious, over-reactive and moody. 

From my experience working with couples, I have found that couples who have strong spiritual practices get along together better than couples who have little or no sadhana.   Good sadhana helps us to transcend our conditioning and develop good qualities such as compassion and humility.   We develop an attitude of service as opposed to exploitation.  

Good sadhana also enhances our ability to listen with the objective to understand our spouse as opposed to listening to defeat our spouse in an argument.   We will also have more willingness to take good instruction from others as to how to have a healthy and happy Krsna-centered marriage and to take those instructions to heart.  

 

Dear Grihastha Coach

I have a question that I hope you will be able to answer.  How does a person know if their feelings are love?  You wrote before about infatuation, my question is specifically about love.

Wants to know.  

Dear Wants,

Your inquiry, "How do I know it's love?" is relevant to many.  Let's examine this issue of love in our relationships.  The foundation for understanding the principle of love is to realize that Krsna, God, is Love Personified.  When we experience genuine love, we are experiencing in essence, the substance of God.  Therefore, real love can never be disconnected from God.

Here are some general truths about love:  When it's love we feel better about ourselves; we feel lovable and capable, validated and worthwhile.  When we are loved, we feel safe. In a relationship therefore, if we are feeling unsafe, it is probably not true love.

And because love -- especially in a marriage or premarital relationship, should be reciprocal—each person in a relationship should feel loved and worthwhile.  If it's not reciprocal, mutually beneficial, then it's like the old song says:  "I found love on a two way street—but lost it on a lonely highway"

Take the mini test below if you are in a relationship—either married or premarital:

                                                                                                                                        Yes      No

  1. Do you feel that you can trust or depend on your spouse/mate?                  
  2. Do you feel that your spouse can trust or depend on you?
  3. Are you good friends?
  4. Do you feel you would die without your spouse/mate?
  5. Is your spouse/mate the only person who can make you happy?
  6. Are most of the problems in your relationship due to the unreasonableness or lack of understanding of your spouse?
  7. Are you honest with your spouse?
  8. Is your spouse honest with you?
  9. Do you talk openly and honestly about your feelings and your concerns?
  10. Do you forgive mistakes?
  11. Does your spouse forgive mistakes?
  12. Are you afraid of your spouse?
  13. Is your spouse afraid of you?
  14. Does your spouse ever abandon you in an unsafe place or situation?
  15. Do you ever abandon your spouse in an unsafe place or situation?
  16. Do you ever humiliate your spouse/mate?
  17. Does your spouse ever humiliate you?
  18. Do you express anger in healthy ways?
  19. Do you feel that you have to constantly prove your love?
  20. Does either of you touch each other in ways that are uncomfortable?

Marriage and Family Educators and other family professionals have found that Love is demonstrated when you can answer yes to #s 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 18.   AND, when you can answer no to 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20.

We must add a very important question to this list which has so much to do with creating and maintaining a lasting, healthy relationship:   Is there a spiritual or principle-based foundation that you both agree on?  Do you both acknowledge and practice a God-conscious lifestyle?  The answer to this should be a resounding, Yes!

No matter who or where you are, genuine loving relationships are characterized by healthy communication, honesty, respect, friendship, trust, forgiveness, appreciation and compassion.

Hope this sheds some light on your question.

Your Grihastha Coach

Would you like to read more articles?  
http://www.vaisnavafamilyresources.org/articles

 

 

The GVT is a grass roots volunteer group of Krishna devotees who are mostly mental health or educational professionals. Our intention is to provide resources to support married couples and prospective couples primarily in ISKCON communities.  

We want to help spiritualize your married life so that it will be an asset for your Krishna consciousness. We offer skill building marriage courses, weekend retreats, premarital education by skype, phone etc, and marital counseling. We also offer mentor training seminars for those who would like to help others.

 

Grhastha Vision Team members will be presenting 3 courses in the upcoming months in the Cleveland OH area. 
 
1.  A 2 day comprehensive mentor couple training to certify healthy married couples as marriage mentor/educators.
 
2.  A Parenting training for parents and all chldcare providers that gives skills, techniques, tools and encouragement to help you become a premium parent who raises children that are truthful, clean, compassionate, self-disciplined servant-leaders;
 
3.  Singles Evaluating Life and Family:  The SELF Healthy Relationship course for unmarried individuals.
 

If interested, please contact Krsnanandini devi dasi at info@dzfi.org.

 

 

Watch for our new book.... coming soon!

"Heart and Soul Connections: A Devotional Guide to Marriage, Service and Love"

 

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--
Yours
Dinesh
Blog:http://dinesh-krsna.blogspot.com


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Who is Supreme to whom?

1. Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. There are many local Supremes. A wife, sees husband as the supreme. Similarly 
for those who are aspiring to enjoy their senses or for those who are in the mode of passion and ignorance worship of devatas or the demi-gods is recommended 
in the vedic scriptures. Therefore the vedic literature says such demi-gods are Supreme according to their levels of understanding. It is the context basically who is Supreme to whom. 
But the ultimate Supreme is Krishna. 

"Even though it might appear harsh to say that we are competing with Krishna. It's a fact that we are competing with Krishna's position. Krishna says 
I am the enjoyer and the proprietor of all the universes. We say How is that I just bought this Sky scraper, Krishna is claiming Himself the owner. No no 
Let me buy that Bank and see who is the biggest proprietor. We are competing with Krishna by trying to enjoy the energies of Krishna. Even the demi-gods 
bow down before Krishna knowing His position as the Supreme controller but demons wont. Demons will be forced to bow down when they get slashed down to death
by the Lord's weapon or time" 

2.  For those who want to get beautiful wife or a handsome man, worship of demigods is recommended. But it is the Supreme Lord who is providing all necessities to 
even the demi-gods. The demi-gods themselves are devotees of Lord Krishna and they know very well about the supremacy of Lord Krishna

3. However sometimes even the demi-gods by the modes of material natire. We find certain instances where Lord Indra and Lord Brahma are getting bewildered
and forgetting Lord Krishna's Supreme position by being covered by their temporary position.

4. We can never be happy by being separate from the Lord. Lord is the ultimate enjoyer, "Bhoktaram yagaya tapasam..." - BG. Krishna is the enjoyer, we are meant to 
be enjoyed by Krishna. By co-operating with the Lord's plan the minute living entities or the spiritual spark can also get happiness through the purified senses. But when the 
senses are not pure, Lord Krishna doesnt reveal Himself.

5. One day there was a meeting by the different organs of the body such as eyes, legs, tongue, hands. In the meeting the discussion was eyes are saying, I am the one who look 
at all that is meant for eating but I dont get a plate of food. Legs started complaining, " I am carrying the stomach all through the day., yet I am not getting a single plate of food but the stomach 
gets all that" Similarly the hands also complained. Finally all of them decided to go on strike for a week to no co-operate to feed the stomach.

   After a week, they meet again but they dont have energy and almost dead and each one of them started saying, " I dont know whats going on..but I am feeling terrible and not happy or energetic"
The stomach said, " I already told you guys that if you have to be happy, you have to co-operate with me". Stomach is the enjoyer in the body. If stomach is not fed, all the organs go dead.
Similarly our position is to co-operate with the plans of the Supreme Lord Sri Krishna. If we fail to do so we cant be happy.

6. Pooja may be for different demi-gods but Bhakti means it can be only for Krishna. Krishna is not attracted to the beauty of the apsaras or anything that is materially motivated.
Krishna is conquered only by unalloyed Bhakti or devotional service. Krishna Himself says in Bhagavad Gita that, Only by unlalloyed devotional service can He be understood as He is. " Bhaktya mam abhi janati.."

7. The brahman which is considered as the Nirguna is not the absolute, but there is Krishna, the Supreme Lord who is a person. The brahman effulgence is from the body of the Supreme Lord Sri Krishna.
There's no ananda in the Brahman even though it is free from the modes of material nature. Unless there's service to the Supreme Lord, the living entities cannot derive ananda or pleasure.

8. Bhatkti is not dependent on Jnana or any material situation. For the Jnani's Liberation is the end, but for a devotee of Krishna, Liberation is just the beginning. We can be liberated from the modes of material nature 
even when we are in this material body by performing devotional service to Lord Krishna.

9. Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita that If one sincerely surrenders or performs devotional service to Him, He Himself gives the knowledge by which the devotee can attain Him. A devotee is already conversant in the 
vedic literature by just knowing Krishna and His transcendental nature. Veda means knowledge, The purpose of vedas is to know Him(Krishna). Krishna Himself confirms this in the Bhagavad Gita, " Vedias ca sarvir

10. A devotee already knows the purpose of the vedas and therefore engages in the devotional service to the Lord. But to keep his faith steady and progress in the spiritual life, he associates with the
transcendental literature like Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita. Bhagavad Gita is spoken by the Lord Himself. Srimad Bhagavatam is spoken by His devotees about His activities.

11." Among all the yogis one who constantly thinks about Me is the best",.  "One who studies this conversation between Me and you worships Me by His intelligence", Lord Krishna in BG.

12. Deity worship is very important for the house holders to be regulated with their habits. If the house holder doesnt have deities, he might not eat at proper time and the proper food and there will
be lack of cleanliness. Deity worship helps the house holder to stick to the religious principles and associate constantly with the Lord in the form of His murtis. Because the house holders are directly interacting with 
the material energy or the matter, there is more danger of them getting trapped or illusioned by the material energy.

QA:

How can we remember the Lord when we are dealing with mundane people by talking unnecessary things just for the sake of gaining business?
Ans:
It is not very uncommon to see in India that group ladies holding a pot full of water on their heads and simultaneously talking and doing other activities while walking. Likewise eventhough we
deal with materialistic people our mind should be fixed that I am doing this for Krishna's pleasure that I will get the profit that I receive from this act fot the pleasure of Krishna.

We can also find that a man even though working so hard at the office will have a photo of his wife or children at their desks in the office. If the man gets a call from wife and when he 
hears that his child is sick, he immdeiately runs to the home leaving aside all his work at the office. So he is very clear that he is doing all these for the love of his wife and children. Similarly we should also
remember that we are working for Krishna. Our mind, body, wife, children everyone should be Krishna conscious and for that sake we carry out the job at office. When the husband is Krishna conscious, the wife and children
also remain Krishna conscious and the whole family has Krishna as their centre and therefore the goal is Krishna.

Notes from a lecture by HH.Danavir Goswami Maharaj
--
Yours
Dinesh
Blog:http://dinesh-krsna.blogspot.com


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I got burnt and learnt

There are 3 ways to understand a thing,


Topmost: Just by hearing about the nature of a thing, certain class of people understand and acting accodingly. Such a person who follows just by hearing is a firstclass person.
Midlevel: Seeing others experience the thing and then being cautious about the dos and donts
Mid-Lower level: Learning by one's own experience, which takes a lot of time and energy. One example is we may tell a child 
that fire will burn if touched, but the child may not understand. We can show how others who got burnt by fire. Still the child may 
need more understanding. Finally let the child will only understand by touching the fire and experiencing himself.
Lowest: Even after experiencing the miserable conditions of improper actions one may not realize and act properly. For instance the pick pockets very well know that they will get caught if they do that and they know that it is wrong action but still they do it, goto jail come back and again do the same, goto jail repeatedly.

Most of us are in the mid-lower level. Atleast I am here if not others. We need to endeavor to get to the topmost level of becoming firstclass devotee 
of devotees of Lord Krishna.

--
Yours
Dinesh
Blog:http://dinesh-krsna.blogspot.com


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A sincere soul becomes overwhelmed with joy on the appearance of a saint at his house.

  
When the clouds appear in the sky the peacock begins to dance in ecstasy, as a sincere soul becomes overwhelmed with joy on the appearance of a saint at his house-Omaha congregation Welcomes HH.Danavir Goswami Maharaj

  The duty of sages and saints is to go from door to door and thus enlighten the householders in spiritual knowledge. Householder life is compared to a dark well. In a dark well the frog cannot see the free light of the open sky. The dark well of householder life kills the soul. One should therefore get out of it so that he may see the light of spiritual vision. Saints and sages mercifully try to uplift fallen souls from the dark well of householder life. An enlightened householder therefore takes pleasure in the appearance of such saints and sages at his house. The mind of the householder who is a conditioned soul is always disturbed by the threefold miseries of material life. Everyone wants to be happy in his householder life, but the laws of nature do not allow one to become happy in material existence, which is like a spontaneous forest fire.

In the age of Kali, as described before, people in general no longer take pleasure in the presence of saints and sages, nor are they interested in spiritual enlightenment. The saints and sages, however, take all risks to propagate the message of Godhead. Lord Jesus Christ, Thakura Haridasa, Lord Nityananda Prabhu, and many such sages risked their life to propagate the message of Godhead. Self-realized saints and sages take such risks for the spiritual enlightenment of the people in general. They do not take vows of silence meant to win cheap glory from the ignorant mass of people. God is satisfied only when His devotees take all sorts of risks to propagate His glories. Such devotees are unafraid of the difficult journey to cross the ocean of nescience. They are always anxious for the welfare of the fallen souls, who are attached to the false enjoyment of materialistic life, in which they forget their eternal relation with God.

   It is the duty of the saints and sages to enlighten the fallen souls, and reciprocally it is the duty of the householder to receive the saints and sages cordially, as the peacock dances in ecstasy at the presence of clouds in the sky. The fire of threefold miseries experienced by materialistic men can be extinguished only by the cloud of mercy of the saints and sages who can pour down the water of transcendental messages to put an end to the miseries of the householders.
 
Many plants and creepers that were almost dead during the months of April and May are now visible again in various forms, for they are nourished by their roots in the moist earth. These numberless plants and creepers resemble persons who dry up in severe penances for some material gain but then achieve their objectives and become luxuriously fat, nourished by sense enjoyment.

Excerpt from the book, Light Of Bhagavata
--
Yours
Dinesh
Blog:http://dinesh-krsna.blogspot.com


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My heart is like an open highway, I just wanna live while I'm alive,'Cause it's my life!

Bhagavad-gītā As It Is 2.26

atha cainaḿ nitya-jātaḿ

nityaḿ manyase mṛtam

tathāpi tvaḿ mahā-bāho

nainaḿ śocitum arhasi

SYNONYMS

atha — if, however; ca — also; enam — this soul; nitya-jātam — always born; nityam — forever; — either; manyase — you so think; mṛtam — dead; tathā api — still; tvam — you; mahā-bāhoO mighty-armed one; na — never; enam — about the soul; śocitumto lament; arhasi — deserve.

TRANSLATION

If, however, you think that the soul [or the symptoms of life] is always born and dies forever, you still have no reason to lament, O mighty-armed.

PURPORT

There is always a class of philosophers, almost akin to the Buddhists, who do not believe in the separate existence of the soul beyond the body. When Lord Kṛṣṇa spoke the Bhagavad-gītā, it appears that such philosophers existed, and they were known as the lokāyatikas and vaibhāṣikas. Such philosophers maintain that life symptoms take place at a certain mature condition of material combination. The modern material scientist and materialist philosophers also think similarly. According to them, the body is a combination of physical elements, and at a certain stage the life symptoms develop by interaction of the physical and chemical elements. The science of anthropology is based on this philosophy. Currently, many pseudo religions — now becoming fashionable in America — are also adhering to this philosophy, as well as to the nihilistic nondevotional Buddhist sects.

Even if Arjuna did not believe in the existence of the soul — as in the vaibhāṣika philosophy — there would still have been no cause for lamentation. No one laments the loss of a certain bulk of chemicals and stops discharging his prescribed duty. On the other hand, in modern science and scientific warfare, so many tons of chemicals are wasted for achieving victory over the enemy. According to the vaibhāṣika philosophy, the so-called soul or ātmā vanishes along with the deterioration of the body. So, in any case, whether Arjuna accepted the Vedic conclusion that there is an atomic soul or he did not believe in the existence of the soul, he had no reason to lament. According to this theory, since there are so many living entities generating out of matter every moment, and so many of them are being vanquished every moment, there is no need to grieve for such incidents. If there were no rebirth for the soul, Arjuna had no reason to be afraid of being affected by sinful reactions due to his killing his grandfather and teacher. But at the same time, Kṛṣṇa sarcastically addressed Arjuna as mahā-bāhu, mighty-armed, because He, at least, did not accept the theory of the vaibhāṣikas, which leaves aside the Vedic wisdom. As a kṣatriya, Arjuna belonged to the Vedic culture, and it behooved him to continue to follow its principles.

The following famous song in support of this vaibhāṣikas philosophy which is prominent in this world. www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx2u5uUu3DE

Lyrics:
It's My Life lyrics
Songwriters: Bon Jovi, Jon; Martin, Max; Sambora, Richard S;

This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
No silent prayer for the faith departed
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/bon-jovi-lyrics/it_s-my-life-lyrics.html ]

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

You better stand tall
When they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break
Baby, don't back down

It's my life
It's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!



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