Accepting Ourselves and In Turn Others

March 29, 2010

How we can help improve our devotee relationships? 

What we do with others should be what we do with ourselves. Or, what we do with ourselves will be what we do with other people. As we move along, our life may bump into another person's life, and by associating together for some time we will come to know more about them…We may not know the circumstances of life of someone who is coming from a different culture and upbringing, which explains why they are carrying on in certain ways. The ways they are carrying on are exhibiting their spirituality or shortcoming that makes the present make-up of that person.

Now, how do we address ourselves in our relationships with those persons? That depends on how we address ourselves. In all religions of the world there are teachings about how we should be accepting of others, or how we should address ourselves to others' shortcomings…We do not have to like the behavior, but then, it is the soul that we are to love. This teaching to see the person as spirit soul is very clear in Bhagavad Gita. But how do we live that teaching? How do we live seeing spirit soul, particularly in the devotee community? These devotees are trying to tread a path that will take them to Krishna, even though they have these shortcomings and bad stuff which we may not like. So, continue to extend the feeling of love towards the soul in a non-judgmental way. As we may struggle with certain things, others may also be struggling with some things.

We should feel towards that person the way we would want others to feel towards us. There is a famous saying, "Do unto others as you would expect others do unto you". Similarly, there is another saying, "Do not judge the other person, lest ye be judged". Behave in such a manner to all other persons in a way that you would want them to behave towards you and to your shortcomings, whether they are judging you or not. We can start with forgiveness, because we wish that others forgive us and not judge us. And, treat the other person with dignity, whether they behave with dignity or not. Then their good qualities will come out and other bad stuff will diminish, just because you treated them with dignity…Because, within the body is a spirit soul who is part and parcel of Krishna. So there is this intrinsic worth, although they are hurting themselves again and again.

-- From a lecture by HH Romapada Swami on 'Self Acceptance and Self Improvement Part 1', during the Christmas Weekend Seminar on 'Seeming Paradox or Contradictions' delivered on December 2009, in Chicago, US.