Kadamba Kanana Swami

(Srimad Bhagavatam 7.14.1, 20 December 2011, Cape Town, South Africa)

Question:

In the purport (SB 7.14.1), Prabhupada first explained the bramachari, vanaprasta and sannyasa ashrams and then at last he said, grhasta ashram for those who are so attached to sex life. So it sounds like the only reason to go to grhasta ashram is lust. Is that what it is?

Answer:

Well, generally speaking it is. But sometimes, even self-realised souls came to the grhasta ahram to fulfil a purpose of the Lord, that also happens. Srinivasa Archarya, for example, had two wives but he was fully self-realised; he was seeing the spiritual world. That was an arrangement of the Supreme Lord. But for most of us, well you know…

The thing is this, you are perfectly happy all by yourself and then suddenly some sex desire begins to arise and then one comes to desire to have a relationship with someone. But some people may say that's not all there is to it, there is also companionship. Alright, I agree with that – companionship is important. We cannot just be alone in this world, we need to have other people but I think marriage, and I say that after 24 years of having tried it, that marriage is an unnatural arrangement!

I'll explain why. I think that to give someone else so much right to just infringe on your privacy is too much. See, if you are not married to someone, you can nicely and politely say: Thank you very much. I need a little time for myself.

But you can't say that to your wife… I mean, you can say it but my God, see what's coming next!

You never spend any time with me… you have no interest in me whatsoever… you completely cold and uninterested… always pre-occupied with other things!

And you are thinking: I just want to finish my rounds.

So it doesn't allow you this privacy that you naturally need. It's very intense. So it's an unnatural arrangement, this infringement on privacy. As far as companionship is concerned, I think there is a need for that but I wouldn't recommend marriage as the solution for that.