So it’s not that a devotee is alone with Krishna, but rather the devotee becomes very close and intimate with the vaisnavas, much more so than generally is the case in the material relationships that exists in this world, where everyone has his privacy, where everyone has his fence, where everyone has his privacy circles, his limits, his borders and ‘Sorry, I don’t know you, so you cannot talk to me’ kind of mood. Book distributors – they ignore that; they step right through these privacy lines. The people are shocked, “This can’t be happening! This is not possible!”  It shocks them. Among the vaisnavas we see that relationships are meant to be of a different nature; they are meant to be close and intimate, but may not be so in our present spiritual Movement because we are not prema bhaktas. But if we could be, if we would be devotees on the level of prema, then really such open, positive, non-envious exchange could be there.

Now in our present state we are associating in the material world and we are all at different levels of advancement. Srila Prabhupada sometimes said that our movement ISKCON is like a hospital and actually all are patients – some are in a better condition than the others and they are helping the others, but somehow or other it is a hospital full of patients where patients help patients, because devotees at different levels of advancement may help. Of course nitya-siddha devotees are of a different nature, or sadhana-siddha. Those who are siddha-bhakta devotees, who are fully at the platform of perfection, alright, they may not be considered as patients but otherwise patients are helping patients and therefore we can not expect our relationships to be completely fully developed. So we should not be disappointed when the relationships amongst vaisnavas are not one of real complete love and trust. When we see in our Movement not yet that full love and trust is realized, then we should not think it is just because we have socially failed. Rather it is that simply the spiritual world has not fully manifested amongst us.

(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 21 December 2010, Cape Town, South Africa, Lecture at house program)

The family of vaisnavas is somehow or other our support. Prabhupada made this movement a very personal one. In the beginning, we overlook how important relationships are because we are not used to it. In the material world, when a relationship does not work, you just cut it off and try another one… then another one and another one.

Now I’m not talking just about friendships. So many friends came and went in our lives in the material world but spiritual relationships are very different. Spiritual friendships are different because devotees are very rare. Therefore, devotees are precious and the relationship with the devotee is precious and once broken it is difficult to repair; not like a broken pot that can be glued back together.

Therefore with devotees we cannot just afford the mentality that if it does not work, get rid of this one and get another one! Because the day will come when we will need all the devotees. The day will come when we will very much depend on devotees because the vaisnavas are sustaining us in our spiritual life and without them it becomes so difficult. The day will come when all artificial behavior in our relationships will have to go because that cannot sustain us and time will test us. As they say, “It all comes out in the wash!” It means that sooner or later, it has to get real.

In the beginning, maybe one can have a Shakespearean performance of Krsna consciousness but at one point we need genuine relationships and genuine friendships. This is very important therefore we must be very careful to make sure we avoid unpleasant exchanges between devotees even for the sake of service. Sometimes, it may be necessary that a devotee is not doing it proper and you have to straighten him out.

We sometimes have to chastise but it is an unfortunate thing to do because in the course of it we may break a relationship. That is just one thought that comes to my mind: friendship between vaisnavas. Friendship is not just by declaration, not just Facebook friends or face-value friends, friendship means more.

SB Canto 4

Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura offers to become a Vaiṣṇava's dog. A dog always keeps himself at his master's door and does not allow any person unfavorable to the master to enter. Similarly, one should engage in the service of a Vaiṣṇava and try to please him in every respect.

SB 4.29.30-31, Purport: 

The living entity's position is herein likened to a dog's. By chance a dog may have a very rich owner, and by chance he may become a street dog. As the dog of a rich man, he will live very opulently. Sometimes in Western countries we hear of a master leaving millions of dollars to a dog in his will. Of course, there are many dogs loitering in the street without food. Therefore, to liken the conditional existence of the living entity to that of a dog is very appropriate. An intelligent human being, however, can understand that if he has to live the life of a dog, he had best become Kṛṣṇa's dog. In the material world a dog is sometimes elevated and is sometimes on the street, but in the spiritual world, Kṛṣṇa's dog is perpetually, eternally happy. ŚrīlaBhaktivinoda Ṭhākura has therefore sung: vaiṣṇava ṭhākura tomāra kukura baliyā jānaha more. In this wayBhaktivinoda Ṭhākura offers to become a Vaiṣṇava's dog. A dog always keeps himself at his master's door and does not allow any person unfavorable to the master to enter. Similarly, one should engage in the service of a Vaiṣṇava and try to please him in every respect. Unless one does so, he does not make spiritual advancement.

SB Canto 7

(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 20 March 2013, Cape Town, South Africa, Srimad Bhagavatam 8.12.6)

Pure devotees of the Lord are only interested in satisfying the senses of the Supreme Lord,hṛṣīkeṇa hṛṣīkeśa-sevanaṁ bhaktir ucyate(Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu 1.1.2). They are not concerned with the material world because they appreciate that in the material world, everything is only temporary and therefore any relationship that we have with the material energy, will not endure and therefore it will be painful.

Whatever we have, we become attached to and then it will disintegrate in the course of time. That's the nature of anything material, so what is the point? "I love my beautiful sandcastle; it is so wonderful. But it will not last; it will be destroyed; so many dreams."

But the love for these dreams comes from the heart because there is a natural need within the living being for happiness and fulfillment. In this material world, we are always experiencing some emptiness within the heart, always experiencing some yearning, some longing for something, some hope that maybe it will happen. Whatever it is, whatever we want, "Maybe I'll become rich… maybe I'll become famous… or rich and famous! Maybe one day I'll wake up and I'll be beautiful… it's doubtful but maybe somehow or other, a miracle will happen, you never know! It could happen, therefore, just wait, just in case. Hold onto to that little straw because maybe it will happen and I so much want it to happen. Oh yes, maybe my love will appear. Yes, the one that is my perfect match, the one that is designed for me, that one!'

Of course, that one doesn't exist; there is no perfect match, it doesn't exist! It becomes a boxing match sooner or later. It's not a perfect match, it is not like that. It's hard work to make relationships work. You cannot say that there is a marriage that just works. No, you have to work for it. It's hard for relationships to work and then still you don't really get what you were dreaming of. That's the material world!

Anyway some say, "Yes, but better a blind uncle than none. Better something than nothing at all!"Okay yes, we want something after all. Alright have it, if you want to settle for something but let that something that you want out of the material world not interfere with your eternal progress! So it cannot be sinful because when we fulfill our desires in a sinful way, then we become bound up by the laws of material nature.

na te viduḥ svārtha-gatiṁ hi viṣṇuṁ
durāśayā ye bahir-artha-māninaḥ
andhā yathāndhair upanīyamānās
te 'pīśa-tantryām uru-dāmni baddhāḥ, (SB 7.5.31)

"Come one, don't be a square! Yeah, it's okay, everybody's doing it, everybody."

Andhā yathāndhair upanīyamānās, and the blind are leading the blind. Te 'pīśa-tantryām uru-dāmni baddhāḥ, and the result is that we remain bound up in chains. The whole world is doing it and they all just remain bound up in chains, in this material world. The three gunas, sometimes known as the three qualities of material nature, other times known as the three ropes that bind us; that is what will happen.

So the pure devotee doesn't even bother with such things. The pure devotee is thinking about Krsna. Krsna is important, Krsna's desires are important, Krsna's glory is important, Krsna's service is important, Krsna's name is important, tadīyānāṁ samarcanam (CC Madhya-lila 11.31); anything related to Krsna is important. Tadīyā, anything related to Krsna. The Ganga because of the dust of Krsna's lotus feet. Tulasi Devi is related to Krsna, 'tulasī kṛṣṇa-preyasi,' anything related to Krsna.

'ārādhanānāṁ sarveṣāṁ
viṣṇor ārādhanaṁ param
tasmāt parataraṁ devi
tadīyānāṁ samarcanam,' (Padma Purana, quoted in CC Madhya-lila 11.31).

Lord Siva said to Parvarti in the Padma Purana, "Of all that are worshipable, the Supreme Lord Visnu is the ultimate worshipable entity. But greater still are those personalities and things that are related to him in service.' That is wonderful!

(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 08 March 2014, Sydney, Australia, Bhagavad-gita 13.3)

In spiritual life, we need to keep ourselves safe. We have to think, ”I am not very powerful spiritually. I am weak and I’m surrounded by maya (the material energy), and maya is very strong.” So I need to look for all kinds of protection – devotees protect, Bhagavad-gitaprotects, prasadam protects, chanting protects. So we must take shelter of all these things that offer protection.

Actually, a devotee is always looking for protection and this is the way to get it – cheaply! To tell you the truth, if we just carry on with chanting and following the principles, it will happen automatically. Success guaranteed!

(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 10 October 2013, Melbourne, Australia, Srimad Bhagavatam 2.3.14)

This movement of Caitanya Mahaprabhu is a mercy movement but we have to take it seriously; we have to take responsibility. A devotee has to take responsibility for what he does wrong and then correct it. We can’t just say, ‘Oh, these things are just happening to me, what can I do? I mean, I am trying so much but it’s just not working, it’s out of control!’

No, IT is not out of control – YOU are out of control! We say, ‘My mind is out of control!’ No, it’s not your mind that is out of control, you are out of control – you see the point? But we tend to just shift responsibility away from ourselves, ‘My mind is out of control, kali-yuga is out of control, everything is out of control – what can I do? There is nothing I can do, it’s all out of control. If things were more in control then I will chant Hare Krsna! I would… I want to be a devotee, I really want to.’ No, nothing is out of control, except you!

So begin to get yourself under control – maybe you cannot conquer everything within one day, but do something. Start to do the things that you can do. Some people lament about what they cannot do, ‘I really want to chant sixteen rounds but I cannot!!’

No problem, do what you can first. What can you do? Can you do some service, can you clean? Okay, then clean! Can you wash pots? Yes, come and wash pots, wash sixteen pots! After washing sixteen pots for a while, then try it again – maybe you would be able to chant sixteen rounds.

It works like this, while doing the things you can do, you get purified and after a while you can start doing things you could not do before.Take responsibility for what you are not doing right and correct it step-by-step. Don’t do it again, stop it and correct it. For example, ‘How can I stop smoking?’ By stopping! When you drive a car you simply push the brakes and stop.

But we are not used to taking responsibility and we have excuses – millions of excuses. ‘It’s my mom, it’s my dad, it’s my big brother – because of them I am not doing these things. Because of what they did to me, now I am doing all this nonsense.’ Endless excuses to justify and to shift our responsibility away.

But we must take responsibility because Hari-katha is not just some automatic thing. Sometimes in India, people consider it to be. Some of these pandits give very dry lectures; they sound like a door squeaking and everyone is in deep sleep but they go anyway because sat-sanga is considered a religious thing. Even if it is very painful, still we must do it. They take it that you just do these things and then you get the blessings – some automatic ritual and you get the blessing.

No! It is not like that! Through hearing we get knowledge and then WE have to make arrangements to change. We, us! We have to do it, change ourselves. But we say, ‘Oh, but I cannot change.’ Who says you cannot change? You changed a lot so far but now you have to change in a certain direction, in the direction of Krsna rather than change in the direction of maya. So one has to take responsibility – with intelligence.

(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 29 April 2014, Radhadesh, Belgium, Srimad Bhagavatam 6.4.49-50)

We see that Srila Prabhupada also had a positive outlook. He was seeing how nice it is that there are devotees who are chanting. How nice that we have the deities. How nice is it, this spiritual life. Prabhupada asked, "What is better? Who has a better way of life than the devotees?" He said, "The devotees, they have the best of everything." They live in the best places. It is true. Who lives in a castle?

You know, "Where do you live?"

"Oh, I live in a castle." (laughing) "You know, marble floors that are heated as well!"

Right, and who eats like we do? So many preparations, you don't get that everywhere. So Prabhupada said we have the best of everything. Best place to stay, best, you know, best food, best clothes. You know, with dressing up, look at those borders (pointing at a devotees dhoti), fancy designs everywhere. Best! Best clothes… best food! Prabhupada said best of everything.

And Prabhupada said if you want to get married, if a man wants to be married, oh, from the male perspective, then you get the best wife, best! Because we get the very best! (laughing) Because they have good qualities. Because yasyāsti bhaktir bhagavaty akiñcanā (Srimad Bhagavatam 5.18.12), through devotional service, one develops good qualities. So Prabhupada said material fortune is rolling at our feet, rolling at our feet.