Accepting Ourselves and In Turn Others

March 29, 2010

How we can help improve our devotee relationships? 

What we do with others should be what we do with ourselves. Or, what we do with ourselves will be what we do with other people. As we move along, our life may bump into another person's life, and by associating together for some time we will come to know more about them…We may not know the circumstances of life of someone who is coming from a different culture and upbringing, which explains why they are carrying on in certain ways. The ways they are carrying on are exhibiting their spirituality or shortcoming that makes the present make-up of that person.

Now, how do we address ourselves in our relationships with those persons? That depends on how we address ourselves. In all religions of the world there are teachings about how we should be accepting of others, or how we should address ourselves to others' shortcomings…We do not have to like the behavior, but then, it is the soul that we are to love. This teaching to see the person as spirit soul is very clear in Bhagavad Gita. But how do we live that teaching? How do we live seeing spirit soul, particularly in the devotee community? These devotees are trying to tread a path that will take them to Krishna, even though they have these shortcomings and bad stuff which we may not like. So, continue to extend the feeling of love towards the soul in a non-judgmental way. As we may struggle with certain things, others may also be struggling with some things.

We should feel towards that person the way we would want others to feel towards us. There is a famous saying, "Do unto others as you would expect others do unto you". Similarly, there is another saying, "Do not judge the other person, lest ye be judged". Behave in such a manner to all other persons in a way that you would want them to behave towards you and to your shortcomings, whether they are judging you or not. We can start with forgiveness, because we wish that others forgive us and not judge us. And, treat the other person with dignity, whether they behave with dignity or not. Then their good qualities will come out and other bad stuff will diminish, just because you treated them with dignity…Because, within the body is a spirit soul who is part and parcel of Krishna. So there is this intrinsic worth, although they are hurting themselves again and again.

-- From a lecture by HH Romapada Swami on 'Self Acceptance and Self Improvement Part 1', during the Christmas Weekend Seminar on 'Seeming Paradox or Contradictions' delivered on December 2009, in Chicago, US.

Loving Relationships 

Discipline by Love

March 8, 2010

Discipline is not a word that most people like, because it sounds harsh. However, there is also a loving kind of discipline, wherein discipline means making oneself obedient to something that will elevate one in a spiritual sense. In Srila Prabhupada's words, "there is no disciple without discipline". It is kind of self-evident. How can one be a disciple without being disciplined? So, discipline is a voluntary function, one in which we submit to the instruction or the understanding that is being imparted.

The classic example of this is Pradyumna, the son of Krishna and Rukmini. Pradyumna had an ideal attitude of servitude unto his father, Krishna. When Pradyumna wanted something, if Krishna did not want that, Pradyumna would decide to give up his desire for that something. And, the other way around: When Pradyuma did not want to do something but Krishna wanted it, then Pradyumna would do it. So, it was discipline or obedience out of love...In this world, there is no real love because love means without any condition. Similarly, discipline is without any condition and is out of love.

Narada as a small boy was brought to that kind of discipline. Discipline is by love and not by a stick...The qualification to receive is discipline. In order to have a loving relationship with someone, we have to receive the love that they are extending. Acknowledge and feel it. Without receiving, we cannot be in a loving relationship. In this case, Narada as a student was receiving from the Bhakivedantas. In our case, how are we to receive from a spiritual teacher or a spiritual master? Suta Goswami and Srila Prabhupada are giving us the formula in this verse. Three things are required - "without being self-controlled, without being disciplined and without being fully obedient, no one can become successful in following the instructions of the spiritual master, and without doing so, no one is able to go back to Godhead." That is just the beginning and the mature stage is love...So, if we want the mature fruit, we need to take to this process.

-- From a lecture by HH Romapada Swami on 'Srimad Bhagavatam 1.5.24', delivered on July 2009, in California, US.