Worshipping Sri Radha's Lotus Feet

: By Prabodananda Sarasvati

The lotusfeet of Sri Radhika are my only treasure

(from Sri Radha-rasa-sudha-nidhi)

alam visaya varta ya naraka koti bibhatsaya
vrtha sruti kathasramo bata bibhemi kaivalyatah
paresa bhajanon mada yadi sukadayah tatah kim
parantu mama radhika pada rase mano majjatu

May my mind always float in the ocean of divine nectar emanating from the lotus feet of Srimati Radharani. No more fear of millions of hells. Studying of the scriptures has become simply troublesome. Merging into the brahman effulgence is terrible. The ecstatic symptoms of devotion to the Lord that are felt by the great devotees like Suka have lost their charms.

upasya caranambuje vraja bhrtam kisori ganaih
mahad bhirapi purusair apari bhavya rasotsave
agadha rasa dhamani svapada Padma seva vidhau
vidhehi madhuroj jvalam iva krtim mamadhisvari

O Radha! You are my sole Ruler and only shelter. Countless gopis of Vraja swarm around Your lotus feet and worship them wholeheartedly. Your lotus feet are an inexhaustible fountainhead of the quintessence of universal love and are inconceivable to great saints. That is perhaps the reason why great devotees are striving with ever increasing courage and hope to catch the sweetness and beauty of the grace that flows from Your lotus feet. O Queen! Will You be pleased to show me the particular manner in which I should serve Your lotus feet?

atisnehaduccair api ca hari namani grnatah
tatha saugandhadyair bahubhi rupa carais ca yajatah
paranandam vrndavana manu carantam ca dadhato
mano me radhaya padamrdu lapadme nivasatu

Lotus chanting of the holy name of Lord Hari with love attracts my mind towards Sri Radha's feet. This attraction becomes very strong as soon as the delicious ingredient of Sri Radha's service is added to the chanting. Meditation on blissful Krsna as He roams about in Vrndavana has put me under the shade of the tender feet of kind Sri Radha.

kamam tulikaya karena harinayalatka kairankita
nanakeli vidagdha goparmani vrdai tatha vandita
ya sanguptaya tatha upanisadam hrd yeva vidyo tate
sa radha carana dvayi mama gatih lasyai kalilamayi

My only shelter is Sri Radhika's lotus feet which I yearn to worship with love and devotion. These lotus feet of Srimati Radhika are painted by Krsna's soft fingers with a feather dipped in the most fragrant red-colored juice. The gopis follow Krsna's example and worship the same feet for the happiness of all living entities. These feet are glorified in the Upanisads, and are found in the depth of the hearts of pure devotees.

vrndavanesari tavaiva padaravindam
premamrtaika makaranda rasau gha purnam
hrdyar apitam madhupate smaratapa mugram
nirvapayat parama sitala ma srayami

O Vrndavanesvar! O Sri Radhe! I pray for the shelter of Your lotus feet. Your lotus feet are treasure house of nectar of divine love. Syamasundara keeps them safely and dearly in His heart. These feet are the supreme cooling remedy for the blazing fires of this material world.

yadi snehad radhe disasi ratilam payata padavi
gatam me svaprestam tadapi mamnistham srunu yatha
kataksai raloke smita saha carair jata pulakam
sama aslisyamyuc cai atha ca rasaye tvatpadarasam

O dear Sri Radha! When out of sheer compassion, and moved by Krsna's overwhelming love for You, will grant Him His prayers to message Your lotus feet? At that time, I shell look at the ecstatic smiling faces of both of You, and so encouraged I shall hug Your feet with my hands, and taste the nectar of Your lotus feet to my full satisfaction.

yasya aste bata kinkarisu bahusas catuni vrndatavi
kandarpah kurute tavaiva kim api prepsuh prasadotsavam
sadrananda ghananuraga lahari nisyanda padambuja
dvandve sri vrsabhanu nandini sada vande tava sripadam

O Vrsabhanu-nandini! I bow down to Your lotus feet with great awe and reverence, from which selfless love is ever pouring forth in abundance. In His ceaseless and tireless efforts to win Your grace, Sri Krsna, the God of love of Vrndavana and Supreme Almighty, always solicits the favors of Your servants with love and affection.

radhapada saroja bhaktim acalam udviksya niskaitavam
pritah svam bhajatopi nibhaira maha premnadhikam sarva sah
alingatyatha cumbati svavadanat tambulam asyer apayet
kante svam vanamali kamapi mama nyasyet kada mohanah

I know, and it has been confirmed by all reliable authorities that Madana-Mohana Krsna would be so ecstatically delighted to see pure devotion unto Sri Radha's lotus feet that he would descend from His worshipped throne to embrace, kiss, give His chewed betel nuts, and garland to Sri Radhika's devotee. When shall I be blessed with such devotion, getting such treatment from Krsna as my reward for devotion to Radha's lotus feet?

sat premasindhu makaranda rasau gadhara
sarana jasramabhitah sravada sritesu
sri radhike tava kada caranaravindam
govinda jivana dhanam sirasa vahami

O Radhika! When shall I enjoy the fortune of having my head used by You as Your footstool? Your feet, which are the life-treasure of Govinda, will then be a crown on my head. They will further bathe my head with a pure nectarine flood of love that always flows among Your devotees.

 Śri Rūpa-cintāmaṇi - ''The Cintāmaṇi Jewel of Beauty''
Srila Vishvanath Cakravarti Thakura

01. cchatra - Umbrella
02. ari - Disc
03. dhvaja - Flag
04. valli - Flowery Twig
05. puṣpa - Flower
06. valayan - Jewelled Bangle
07. padma - Lotus
08. urdhva-rekha - Upward line
09. ankusham - Elephant Goad
10.ardhendu - Half Moon
11. yavaṁ - Barleycorn
12. śaktiṁ - Spear
13. gadaṁ - Club
14. syandanam - Chariot
15. vedi - Sacrificial Altar
16. kuṇḍala - Earrings
17. matsya - Fish
18. parvata - Mountain
19. daraṁ - Conch
The Lotus Footprints of Srimati Radharani with symbols
cchatrari-dhvaja-valli-puṣpa-valayan padmordhva-rekhaṅkuśan



ardhenduṁ ca yavaṁ ca vamam anu ya śaktiṁ gadaṁ syandanam
vedi-kuṇḍala-matsya-parvata-daraṁ datte 'nv asavyaṁ padaṁ



taṁ radhaṁ ciram unaviṁśati-maha-lakṣmy-arcitaṅghriṁ bhaje




cchatra - parasol; ari - ari; dhvaja - flag; valli - vine; puṣpa - flowers; valayan -bracelets;padma - lotus; urdhva-rekha - ūrdhva - rekhā; aṅkuśan - elephant - goad; ardhendum - half - moon; ca - and; yavam - barleycorn; ca - and; vamam - left; anu - following; ya - which; śaktim - potency; gadam;club; syandanam - flowing; vedialtar; kuṇḍala - earrings; matsya - fish; parvata -mountain; daram - conchshell; datte - places; anu - following; asavyam - right; padam - foot; tam -Her;radham - Rādhā; ciram - eternally; unaviṁśati - 19;maha - great;lakṣmi - opulence; arcita - endowed; aṅghrim - feet; bhaje - I worship.

Translation

I worship Śri Rādhā, whose feet are endowed with the 19 great opulences of, on the left foot, the parasol, ari, flag, vine, flower, bracelet, lotus,ūrdhva-rekhā, elephant-goad, halfmoon, and barleycorn, and on the right foot, the śakti, club, chariot, altar, earrings, fish, mountain, and conchshell. (Sri Rupa Cintamani)

Description and the locations of the imprints on the lotus feet of Srimati Radhika

Text 1 & 2

are manas cintaya radhikaya vame pade 'ngusthatale yavari
pradesini-sandhi-bhagur dhvarekha makuncitama carana arddham eva

madhya tale 'bja-dhvaja-puspa-vallih kanisthakadho' nkusam ekam eva
cakrasya mule valayata patre parsnau tu candra arddha mathanya-pade

O mind! Please meditate on the left lotus of Srimati Radharani which is decorated with the following auspicious markings:

Below the toe of the left foot is a barleycorn and a disc. Starting from mid point between the main toe and the second toe, continuing for half the length of the foot, is a shining upward-line. Below the middle toe are a lotus, flag, flower and a twig. Below the little toe is an elephant goad. Below the disc is an umbrella, and below that is a bracelet. On the heel is a beautiful looking half-moon.

Text 3

parsnau jhasam syandana-sailam urdhve tat-parsvayoh sakti-gade ca sankham
angustha-mule 'tha kanisthakadho vedim adhah kundalam eva tasyah

Please remember the right lotus feet of Srimati Radhika with the following descriptions of the markings:
On the heel of the right foot is a fish. Above that is a chariot. Above the chariot is a mountain. On one side of the chariot is a sakti weapon, and on the other side is a club. Above the club is the conchshell, which is at the root of the toe. Below the little toe is a sacrifice altar, and below the sacrificial altar is an earring.

'Pada Sevanam - Meditation on the Lotus Feet and Hands of Their Lordships', Text 1-3

Descriptions from Radha-Krsna ganoddesa dipika
atha carana-cihnani sankhendu-kunjara-yavav
ankusas ca ratha-dhvejau damaru-svasti-matsyadi
subha-cihnau padav api

The auspicious markings on Srimati Radharani's lotus feet includes the signs of the conchsell, moon, elephant, barleycorncorn, elephant goad, chariot, flag, small drum, svastika, and fish.

Descriptions from Sri Rupa Cintamani by Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura

chatrari-dhvaja-valli-puspa-valayan padmor dhvarekhankusan
arddhendun ca yavan ca vamamanu ya saktim gada syandanam
vedi-kundala-matsya-parvata-daram dhatte 'nv asavyam padam
tam radham ciram unavimsati-mahalaksmy-arcitanghrim bhaje

I worship Sri Radha whose lotus feet are endowed with nineteen great auspicious markings of: on the left foot are eleven markings of an umbrella, disc, flag, vine, flower, bracelet, lotus, upward-line, elephant-goad, half-moon, and barleycorn, and on the right foot are eight markings of the sakti, club, chariot, sacrificial altar, earrings, fish, mountain, and conch-shell.

Descriptions from Ananda Candrika
atha vamacaranasya angustha mule yavah tat-tale cakram tat-tale
chatram tat-tale valayam tarjanyan gustha sanhimarabhya vakra gataya yavad arddha
carana murdhva rekha madhyama tale kamalam kamakatale dhvajah sapatakah
kanistha tale 'nkusah parson arddha candrah tad upari valli puspanca ityekadasa

There is a barleycorn below the toe of the left foot of Sri Radhika. Below that is a disc, and below that is an umbrella, below the umbrella is a bracelet, and then there is an upper-line which starts from mid-point between the second toe and the main toe and goes down in a crooked way till it covers half the foot. Below the middle toe is a lotus, and below that is a flag. Below the little toe is an elephant goad. On the heel is a half-moon, and above that is a flower. Thus there are eleven auspicious markings decorating the left foot of Srimati Radharani.

atha daksinasya angustha mule sankhah kanisthatale vedi tat-tale
kundalam tarjani madhya mayos tale parvata parsnau Matsya martsyopari rathah
tathasya parsvadvayo sakti gade ityastau militva unavimsatih

There is a conch-shell at the origin of the toe of the right foot of Srimati Radharani. Below the little toe is a sacrificial altar, and below that is an earring. Below the second and the middle toe is a mountain. On the heel is a fish, and above the fish is a chariot. Thus there are eight markings on the right foot of Srimati Radharani. When combining these eight with those of the left foot, it becomes nineteen auspicious markings. In this way, the nineteen auspicious markings on the feet of Srimati Radharani are eternally remembered.



"Oh, Supreme Goddess of the Vrndavana forest! Your lotus feet are brimming full of flowing rasa extract, the essential honey of full-blown love nectars. Holding such feet to His chest, Madhupati (Krsna), the Lord of all sweetness, extinguishes the burning fever of Cupid. So supremely cooling, I now take shelter of them.

That which is present deep within the heart of all the Upanisads in the most well hidden secret; this pair of Sri Radha's divine lotus feet is my refuge - simply full of Her own feminine dancing playfulness."

"Radha Rasa Sudhanidhi" by Srila Prabhodananda Sarasvati Thakur

Right Lotus Foot:
8 Most Auspicious Marks

01. Sacrificial Altar
02. Mountain
03. Conch
04. Earring
05. Club
06. Chariot
07. Spear
08. Fish

Left Lotus Foot:
11 Most Auspicious Marks
01. Barleycorn
02. Disc
03. Upcurving line
04. Lotus
05. Umbrella
06. Elephant Goad
07. Flag
08. Bracelet
09 . Flower
10. Creeper
11. Half Moon
Meaning of the Auspicious Marks:

HALF-MOON (ardha-candra) - This mark symbolizes how lotus feet truly provide the desired objectives of the devotees. It signifies that even devatas like Lord Siva (whose symbol is a half moon) have decorated their own heads with the soles of the feet. It also shows that devotees who likewise decorate their own head with the feet can become exalted like Lord Siva. Just as the moon showers nectar with its cooling rays, similarly the lotus feet shower nectar upon the devotees, extinguishing the threefold material miseries. So that the minds of the devotees may reside at the feet, they bear the symbol of the moon (which is the devata or presiding deity of the mind) upon the feet. Just as the moon is one, yet it destroys the darkness seen by many people simultaneously, similarly the Lord is one and yet by His cleverness can deliver many souls at the same time. The half-moon also indicates that since Lord's toenails appear like ten splendorously full moons, the real moon has shriveled up in shame and appears in half-form.

PITCHER (kalasa) - This mark shows that lotus feet hold the golden pitcher full of purely nectarean ambrosia to be freely consumed by the surrendered souls; indeed, they will never be bereft of nectar for this pitcher always remains full. This mark also indicates that the feet can pour out nectar that extinguishes the blazing three-fold miseries of the separated devotees. The full pitcher is a symbol to show that no inauspiciousness can come near the devotees. Rather the feet bring ripples of happiness emanating from divine auspiciousness.

BOW (dhanu) - This mark reveals that those who take shelter of the lotus feet will be perpetually free from all worries and difficulties. It also shows that those who are stupefied in the material world remain motionless like a target and do not come to lotus feet. Whereas those who come to the ultimate goal of the feet remain there and never go back to the material world. Further, when the mind of the devotee meets the target of the feet, then prema condenses as a result and overflows as the tears showering from their eyes.

SKY (ambara) - This mark indicates that the feet are all pervading throughout the entire creation, both within and without all manifestations. It also shows that even though the feet are everywhere, they are unattached just like the sky.

COW-HOOF (gospada) - This mark signifies that for those who have taken full shelter of uninterrupted meditation on the feet, the great ocean of worldy existence becomes very small and insignificant like the water held in a calf's hoof-print and is thus easily crossed over.

FISH (matsya) - This mark shows that just as a fish cannot live without water, similarly the surrendered devotees cannot live a moment without directly associating with the feet. It also shows that all the most cherished desires and longings of those who resort to lotus feet will be truly fulfilled. It also means that the mind is very fickle, just like a fish who wavers this way and that, and so only after much meditation do the feet finally come into the heart. It also indicates that lotus feet will come to live in one's heart only if the heart has been liquefied by soft loving emotions; the feet do not thrive where it is dry.

CONCH (sankha) - This auspicious mark indicates that those who take shelter of the lotus feet are always rescued from all sorts of distress. Just as during the arati ceremony the conchshell is used to hold water that is offered directly after the fire of the ghee-lamp, similarly lotus feet hold transcendental water that soothes His devotees from the blazing fire of material miseries. Also this symbol proclaims ultimate victory for the devotees, since the conchshell mark on the feet contains the entire ocean of material existence that may now be easily crossed. This mark also shows that those who resort to lotus feet become completely fearless.

DISK (cakra) - This mark cuts down the six enemies of the devotees - lust, anger, greed, illusion, envy and bewilderment. It indicates teja-tattva, or the principle of brilliance by which Lord destroys the darkness of sins from within His devotee's hearts.

GOAD (ankusa) - This mark indicates that meditation on lotus feet brings the elephants of the devotee's minds under control and keeps them on the right path. It also shows that those who thus stay on the path toward the feet become superior among men, just as one riding on top of an elephant travels far above the rest.

FLAG (dhvaja) - This mark announces that for the devotees meditating on the feet, They give security and safe protection from all sorts of fear.

THUNDERBOLT (vrajra) - This mark reveals that meditation on lotus feet smashes to pieces the mountain of the devotee's karmic reactions to past sins. It also indicates that whoever holds on to the feet becomes as exalted as Lord Indra (whose weapon is the thunderbolt).

LOTUS (kamala) - This mark increases greed for nectar in the minds of the beelike devotees who meditate on lotus feet. The lotus also signifies that just as a lotus grows out of water, similarly those whose eyes swell with tears upon holding the Divine lotus feet to their heart receive the highest benefit. This mark also shows that the goddess of fortune, Sri Laksmi Devi always resides at His feet rendering humble service. It signifi es that His feet are so soft that they can only be compared to lotus petals; indeed upon first glancing at the lotus feet, you would think you are directly seeing fresh lotus blossoms. It also reveals that just as a lotus blooms by day and contracts by night, similarly those who remain steeped in meditation on lotus feet always feel the blossoming unfoldment of brilliant sattvika ecstasies that dispel the darkness of ignorance. It also means that the bee of the devotee's mind cannot fly beyond the bondage of dry jnana (knowledge) and vairagya (renunciation) without the temptation offered by the superior nectar of the lotus feet.

FLOWER (puspa) - This mark shows that the divine fame of the feet spread everywhere just like the fragrance of a flower. It also shows that the feet are not hard, but soft as flower petals. And it means that just as every fruit comes into being after the plant blooms, similarly all spiritual fruits come into being after first blossoming at the soles of the feet.

CLUB (gada) - This mark is to show that lotus feet are capable of chastising the elephant of sinful lust. It further indicates that for whoever takes shelter of the feet, all their ancestors will also receive benefit.

ALTAR (vedi) - This mark proclaims that the sins of those who meditate upon the feet are burned up as if on the
altar of sacrifice. Furthermore, it indicates that just as the universe is nourished by the brahmanas offering fire-sacrifices, similarly those who offer their minds in sacrifice to the feet stimulate universal nourishment
that affects all of creation.

UMBRELLA (catra) - This mark proves that those who take shelter of lotus feet are shielded from the incessant rainfall of material miseries. It also denotes that those who sit in the shade of the feet become exalted just like maharajas (great kings), who usually have umbrellas held over their heads.


By:Gauridasa Pandita Dasa Prabhu

The Holy Name is the Most Valuable Possession I Have

Without the holy name I would practically have no spiritual life, no real happiness, no intimacy with Krishna, no peace of mind, and no ability to control my senses. My entire relationship with Krishna, the most important relationship in my life, is revealed through His holy name. Without the holy name I would be lost, miserable, spiritually weak and destitute. Yet sometimes I treat this most valuable relationship as a botheration, something that gets in the way of me doing "more important" things or "more desirable" things. What helps me in these times is to remember that I get to chant, that I want to chant, that I love to chant (deep down inside). To think I have to chant reinforces the idea thatchanting Krishna's lovely names is something I'd rather not be doing.

Bad Chanting Becomes the Norm

After chanting bad japa for extended periods of time, bad chanting starts to become my default setting. I then believe that due to the circumstances I am in this is the best I can do. Bad chanting thus reinforces itself with more bad chanting. And since bad chanting produces little or no nectar or realization, becoming Krishna conscious becomes more of a pie in the sky ideal than a possible reality. Chanting thus becomes totally a matter of duty and can easily become automatic, heartless, and robotic. Badchanting reinforces the belief that my chanting can't or won't get much better. The real problem is that I believe this and I am ok with this.

Killing Some Time While Chanting

My mind derives great pleasure from thinking. So I have a problem when I chant because while I am chanting my mind goes pleasure hunting and wants to contemplate so many interesting thoughts and not listen to the holy name.. This happens most often when I am bored with chanting. It is sometimes really difficult to just hear the mantra because my mind says, "This is not interesting. Think of something interesting, like, what you are going to say in your next class, or how you are going to do this or that project in new creative ways." My mind resists just listening to me chant because it's always looking for something to ponder, something to do. And when it starts pondering some interesting thoughts, even though my lips keep moving with the mantra, I disconnect myself from my chanting and live in my little mental dream world. I realize I often do this when I am bored chanting in order to "kill some time" during japa and keep myself entertained. After all, just thinking of the mantra and nothing else can sometimes be torture for the mind.

Give It All I Got

To the degree that I give my all and all to my chanting, to that degree Krishna reciprocates and thus bhakti increases in my heart. As one popular song of the sixties said, "The love you give is equal to the love you take." What I put into my japa is what I get back. Devotion doesn't come back where devotion is not put out (garbage in, garbage out).

My daughter is learning to play violin and to inspire her we watched a virtuoso eleven year old violinist on You Tube. This eleven year old was so good we couldn't believe it. As I watched in disbelief I thought, "If I took my japa as seriously as this kid takes her violin, I would be completely Krishna conscious by now. The reality is that if I only give 50% of my energy to my japa, then 50% is going somewhere else. If I want to properly chant and hear the holy names and reap the results that the holy name can offer, I need to give all my energy to my japa (both physical and mental). If I really value my relationship with Krishna, I will do this. And doing this shows Krishna how important that relationship is to me.


I Have No Time to Chant

Most of us who are raising families are challenged to find two undisturbed hours a day to solely focus on our rounds. Yet many of the activities that take our time away fromchanting are activities that we specifically have chosen to do. Afer the second retreat I thought that the reason I have so much on my plate that takes me away from chantingis simply because I don't like chanting enough. It's what Prabhupada calls the "self created burden." If I am finding it difficult to finish my rounds because of a lack of time, I am ultimately the one who chose to do all the activities that are getting in the way of my chanting. Even when I can't really avoid all the work and responsibilities, still I am the one who is organizing those activities in a way that chanting often takes a back seat to the other things I do.

The Mind is Like a Loud Truck

While I was chanting the other day, a truck drove by that was so loud that I couldn't even hear myself chant. As it got further away I could again hear the mantra coming out of my mouth. As this was happening I immediately thought that the truck is exactly like the mind. Sometimes the mind is so loud that I can't even hear myself chant. It just takes over and the maha mantra gets drowned out by the volume of my mind. When I think of controlling my mind, I think of turning down the volume on all of its chatter. Once that chatter stops, I can hear the maha mantra. When I constantly work on turning the volume down, eventually my mind starts to peacefully listen to the chanting.

The Acarya of Multi-Tasking Japa

Too often I chant like a robot. Maybe someday things will get so bad that we'll have japa robots and we can just put our beads in their hands and they will chant to a recording of our japa.

Although that sounds far fetched, I am like that robot. I have chanted Hare Krishna for so many years that I can do it my sleep, I can do it while driving, I can even do it while reading. I can do it while shopping, talking, sight seeing – you name it and I can do it and chant simultaneously. I am the acarya of multi-tasking japa. Chanting is so programmed into my cells that I can do it without even thinking about it. Someone might say, "Well that's good." No, it's horrible because I can do it without even being aware that I am doing it, what to speak of being aware that I am associating with Radha and Krishna. It's like someone shot Novocain in my heart and my heart has become numb and thus I am not feeling a thing while I chant.. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta said the name is not lip deep, it is heart deep.

Chanting is Boring

When I commit offences to the Holy Name, chanting becomes boring. In this consciousness chanting is tasteless, troublesome, and outright uninteresting, and it's the last thing I want to do. Thus I do it only out of duty while my mind is totally disengaged from chanting. My mood is simply to get my rounds finished as soon as possible. This is a sign to me that my spiritual life is lacking. When I don't do something to correct this, the bad chanting creates a domino reaction of less Krishna consciousness in my life, which then produces more bad chanting, which continues to produce less Krishna consciousness, which produces more bad chanting. And this could lead to something even worse than bad chanting. It could lead to no chanting.

Give Yourself A Gift

Prabhupada said the highest realization is to save yourself. I have so often neglected to chant well that I sometimes feel like I am dying of thirst for the nectar of the name. On the 64 rounds day (at the retreat, one day is reserved for 64 rounds and a vow of silence) I was finally taking the time to give myself the nectar that I so desperately needed. But because I had dried up so much over the years and thus was so thirsty, no matter how much I drank the name I still was thirsting for more. By the 64th round my thirst was just starting to become satisfied. 64 rounds is the most wonderful gift I have ever given myself. At least I should give myself the gift of 16 good rounds every day.

Does the Holy Name Really Work?

Yes, the holy name does really work. Well, let me restate that: The holy name does really work if I chant the holy name the way the holy name is meant to be chanted. If I don't properly chant the holy name, then I start thinking the chanting can't really uproot my deepest anarthas. Because I am not experiencing Krishna while I chant, I lose faith in the value and power of the holy name. Going to the retreat and being facilitated to chant some really good rounds was a major faith builder. The holy name began to work on me more deeply than ever. It was real, vibrant, active, and dynamic, as compared to the usual dead mantras I chant. Dead mantras were producing a dead Mahatma Das. But the maha mantra is a living thing and when I chant a living mantra I get life.

It's All About a Relationship

Although chanting revives our relationship with Krishna, chanting is also our relationship with Krishna. We are there with Radha and Krishna while we chant. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta said to welcome the holy name. Radha and Krishna come to me when I chant. Do I realize this when I chant? Do I welcome them and take care of them when they come? Do I worship them when they come? Or do I think, "Oh no, I still have six rounds left?" If I think this way, I simply take chanting as a process, a process that often I can't wait to end so I can get on to "more important" things.

Watering the Weeds Japa

Poor chanting can actually produce misery, guilt, unhappiness, frustration, boredom, lack of energy and a host of other negative emotions and experiences. When I chant badjapa it doesn't make me feel like I am a blissful spiritual being; it makes me feel defeated for not applying myself. It also makes me both upset with myself for failing to come closer to Krishna and guilty because I know my guru expects more of me and I could do better. It leaves me entering my day on a failed note. Wow! The very thing that is supposed to make me so happy when done properly has the potency to make me feel awful if not done well. Hopefully I can take this misery as a kick in the rear end and let it push me into chanting better rounds.

First Become Conscious, Then Become Krishna Conscious

It's amazing how many bad japa habits I have not confronted even though I know how much these habits hurt me. They exist, I see them destroying my good japa, yet I ignore them. They have a tendency to somehow camouflage themselves in a way that says, "I am here but don't worry about me." And I believe them and think, "Ok, I won't confront you. Why? Am I afraid it will be too difficult or too much work to change? I must think it's less painful to change than to suffer the consequences of bad japa? I was forced to become fully conscious of these habits, confront them and deal with them at the retreat. This was one of the best things I've ever done. If I didn't do this, I don't know how long these habits would have continued to undermine my potential for better japa.

What I Do Today Affects My Chanting Tomorrow

What I do when I am not chanting affects the quality of my rounds. For example, if I am critical of devotees (or even of non-devotees), it will be more difficult to chant good rounds. If my mind is engaged in activities from morning to night that have nothing to do with Krishna, my attraction to chanting the next day will diminish. However, if I make an effort to be as Krishna conscious as possible during the day, my rounds the next day are easier to chant and more relishable. My activities today are linked to the quality of myjapa tomorrow. One devotee told me that if he goes out and gives people the maha mantra, his rounds are always better the next day.

All I Want

When it comes down to it, all I want is to chant well, feel Krishna's presence while I chant, relish the nectar of the name, and be a servant of the name. Bhaktivinoda Thakura says there is nothing else in the three worlds but the holy name. Krishna has shown this to me by allowing me to observe other devotees' transformations (at the retreats) through good chanting. As their chanting improved, their desires changed. As they relished the sweetness of Krishna, they wanted more of it and realized this is all they really want. When Krishna is kind enough to give a drop of the taste of the nectar for which we are always anxious, we realize how much we have in our life that is not giving us this nectar (amrita-deathless) and how much we have in our life that is actually producing death.

Talks With Dad

I once read a book in which a woman said that the walks she took with her dad when she was young were the most valuable moments in her life because she learned so much from him during those walks. I have always felt the same way about japa. My time with the holy name is the most valuable time of my day. Good chanting always gives me realization, strength, determination, and taste. Those two hours with the holy name is the most valuable time of my day, and to waste those two hours on bad japa is the greatest loss. Once I blow those two hours with bad rounds, that's it; I can't buy them back. Thus, I miss the opportunity to have Dad really and enlighten me that morning.

Krishna Enchants Me

When I chant well and am relishing Krishna's name, then Krishna's form, words, and pastimes all become more attractive to me. On the evening of the 64 rounds day, Dravida Prabhu recited poems while showing slides of Krishna. Those pictures, one's I've seen many times before, all of a sudden were especially attractive and alluring to me. And those poems, although I've read them before, enchanted my mind like never before. My senses became purified and thus everything about Krishna became more attractive. And the wonderful consequence of this is that everything not related to Krishna became less attracted to me. That's Unacceptable

Bad chanting is unacceptable to me. I now have set the bar higher and when I go below the acceptable level, red flags go off in my mind. Poor chanting is not making me Krishna conscious, so I reject it. The consequences of poor chanting are so undesirable that simply being aware of those consequences gets me back on track. I have accepted unacceptable japa too often-and that's simply not acceptable any longer. If it is acceptable to me it means I am satisfied with poor chanting and not overly concerned about doing anything to improve. And if I am not concerned about improving my japa, it won't get better on its own.

Good Chanting Produces More Good Chanting

How do I know I have chanted good rounds? One of the best indicators for me is that when I finish my rounds I want to keep chanting because I am getting such a nice taste. If I am relieved to put my bead bag down after my last round, that's an indicator that my chanting is not being done properly. Good chanting always produces a taste to chant more. Prabhupada said sixteen rounds is the minimum; that constant chanting is the goal.

Courtesy : His Grace Mahatma Das(ACBSP)