I depend on You
27 Dec 2010 by Uddhava das
In my life many times I have been in extreme circumstances – many times. We were driving in the car between Mayapur and Calcutta. I told the driver:
“Aasthe, Aasthe” which means slow.
“ Dheerae, Dheerae”
I told him because he had the tendency to speed up in the villages. I don’t know but some drivers do that, whenever there are people they try to drive faster(laughter). I don’t know what it is but they do that. So he was one of those and so I told him to slow down in the villages.
But suddenly, a cyclist who was also not slowing down, and got in the middle of the road and right in front of our car and, ‘Bang!’ we hit him and then our car flew off the road – and it rolled! In the next moment I was flying! I didn’t know that I could fly, but I could! (laughter). I was flying and then I had a landing on the grass – which I guess was good – on the part that we usually sit on! I was not sitting for a long time!
You can understand that, that was definitely a situation and what do we do at such moments?
I was lying at the side of the road, and the people who were Bengalis were angry…
Someone in their village had been injured, but still alive, and they thought that I was responsible. So there was a whole angry crowd that were around me. I learned Bengali on the spot on that day! (laughter). I didn’t speak Bengali but I learnt it right there and then and managed to say to them;
“Did you get the driver?”
They said; “Driver?…driver?”
“Did you get him? He must be getting away”
So all the men said, “Yes let’s go, and get the driver!”
So that was good. So we get in very difficult situations, and of course we have to do something practical at the time of death! But we also have to remember Krsna! Ultimately we take shelter of Krsna! I was there and I realised;
“Krsna I’m in big trouble…Krsna I mean I cannot runaway now…Krsna I depend on You and whatever you want, but it’s up to You”.
Then I became peaceful, and could accept: “Alright whatever Krsna desires”
That is transcendence. Transcendence is not that we pray on our knees;
“Oh Lord, oh Lord! Please save me! Please save me Lord !” – No that is not transcendence.
Transcendence is; “My Lord I’m placing myself in your hands. You know what is best, and I’m leaving it up to you.”
I mean the situation got out of control – not just a little bit, but totally.
“Now there is nothing I can do anymore. Now all I can do is leave it up to You.” This is the transcendental state of consciousness, where one stops trying to be the controller!
(Kadamba Kanana Swami, Chowpatty, 12th December 2010)
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