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Subject: Forgiveness in Krsna consciousness, Inquiries Into the
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Digest 399, March 9th, 2013. Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami Maharaja
You are invited to send your questions to His Holiness Romapada Swami
at mail@iita.info with the word "Question" included in the subject
line or submit your question at
http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=feedback/Question.

Forgiveness in Krsna consciousness
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782) What is forgiveness and letting go in Krishna Consciousness? Is
it that you have someone who has hurt you, but you forgive them in
your mind and let go since you need to move forward? Or forgive them
and continue talking to them as normal? How do you define
forgiveness?

Answer: Forgiveness is a very critical part of character development.
Forgiveness has a significant impact upon who we are *within*, i.e.
how we conduct our internal lives. Forgiveness or the lack of it also
very often defines the nature of our relationships with those who are
close to us.

To forgive means to give up resentment, anger or bitterness towards
another person. Even though an offense will often involve another
person or persons, forgiveness involves just one person - us. It means
that we, unilaterally and unconditionally, cease to be resentful. It
does not require apriori that the offense has been rectified, or the
offender has apologized. It simply means that we individually and
unconditionally decide to move on.

Please note that forgiveness does not mean condoning the offense, nor
does it mean that we are obliged to continue exposing ourselves to the
offender. We may very well condemn the offense, while asking for its
rectification; or we may distance ourselves from the offender, while
forgiving at the same time. "Forgive the sinner, not the sin" is a
Biblical teaching that applies nicely here. Essential is to clearly
separate the good soul from the aberrant behavior. Lesson #1 in
spiritual life is to see ourselves, as well as others, as spirit soul
-- *not* merely a set of behaviors.

The "how-to" part of the forgiveness depends on how we are spiritually
situated in our Krishna consciousness.

At a very basic level, forgiveness comes from the need for self
preservation. Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the
other person to die. We rarely take offense at what strangers do to
us. So the issue of forgiveness comes typically with those who are
close and important to us. Not forgiving causes these relationships to
become bitter. When a person realizes this, then he or she forgives
simply because it is difficult to survive the other way. A
contemporary example of this is Andy and Kate Grosmaire who publicly
forgave Conor McBride, the killer of their daughter. "We're not
offering a pardon to him,'' Andy Grosmaire said. "The forgiveness
frees us. It keeps us from going to prison with Conor." While this may
seem to be a self motivated and material platform, it is in fact a
very exalted platform in the mode of goodness, one that most of us are
rarely able to even comprehend.

A person who is more spiritually advanced will forgive understanding
that every thing is happening to him because of his own destiny only,
or the law of karma. There is one and only one person who is
responsible for the good and bad things - and that is he himself. In
such a situation, a person forgives understanding that the other
person is simply a tool to make this happen, "an instrument of one's
own karma" Srila Prabhupada once described. A contemporary example of
this is the forgiveness the Amish community at Nickel Mines in South
Lancaster County gave to Charles Roberts who had shot ten of their
school girls and killed five of them. The killer was an outsider to
the community, who subsequently killed himself. What was remarkable
about this forgiveness was that it was instantaneous and went beyond
letting go of the resentment. Parents of the girls who were killed by
Charles attended his funeral, comforted his widow and raised funds to
provide financial aid for his family. When asked what was the driving
force for this forgiveness they shared the following prayer to the
Lord from the Bible, "Forgive us our transgressions as we forgive
those who transgressed against us." Even though there is no explicit
acknowledgement of the law of karma, this comes very close to it. One
who forgives is forgiven, and visa versa.

A person who is more spiritually advanced will forgive, understanding
that everything is happening because of the mercy of Lord Krishna.
Since he sees Krishna's hand everywhere, he understands that offenses
which persons commit are for his own purification and thus does not
hold the other person responsible. We see this described nicely in SB
11 Canto 23, sometimes called the Bhikhsu Gita sung by the Avanti
brahman. This individual at one time was very prosperous but greedy. A
series of events left him destitute and all his friends and family
deserted him, insulted and derided him. Initially he resents them all.
But, after going through some introspection, he forgives them with the
following understanding (SB 11.23.28) . "The Supreme Personality of
Godhead, Lord Hari, who contains within Himself all the demigods, must
be satisfied with me. Indeed, He has brought me to this suffering
condition and forced me to experience detachment, which is the boat to
carry me over this ocean of material life." Such an exalted platform
can only be achieved by one firmly practicing Krishna consciousness.

Finally, at the most exalted platform of Krishna consciousness, there
is no question of forgiveness, since such devotees are incapable of
taking offense. When one forgives, there is a tacit understanding that
I am right and you are wrong. Exalted devotees are so steeped in
humility, so firmly anchored in their relationship to Krishna, that
they are incapable of even seeing the offense of others. An example of
this is the great devotee king, Ambarisa Maharaja, in SB 9, Cantos
4-5. Even though he was insulted, berated and even attacked by Durvasa
Muni, he could not see any offense. Later, when out of the desire for
self preservation Durvasa Muni begs for his forgiveness, Ambarisa
Maharaja instead of feeling vindicated actually becomes ashamed. "When
Durvasa touched his lotus feet Maharaja Ambarisa was very much
ashamed, and when he saw Durvasa attempting to offer prayers, because
of mercy he was aggrieved even more." SB 9.5.2, This is a symptom of
genuine humility and the fact that a maha-bhagavat always sees every
one and everything in relationship to the Lord.

In order to practice forgiveness, one must first understand the need
for it; practice it according to one's adhikar or advancement in
Krishna consciousness while aspiring to make spiritual advancement
through careful practice of the process of devotional service to
Krishna.

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Previous questions and answers are available with subject
classification at http://www.romapadaswami.com/inquiries
Digests 1-242 are included as a PDF file at:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/Inquiries/IITA_full.pdf
Lectures: http://www.romapadaswami.com/audio
Brief biography of His Holiness Romapada Swami:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/HHRPS_bio
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--
Yours
Dinesh
Blog:http://dinesh-krsna.blogspot.com

Forgiveness in Krsna consciousness, Inquiries Into the Absolute, Digest 399, To continue receiving these messages, please join the Google Group named Inquiries Into the Absolute http://groups.google.com/group/inquiries-into-the-absolute/