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From:
ISKCON DC <ISKCON.DC@pamho.net> Date: Mon, Sep 13, 2010 at 3:15 PM
Subject: Loving relationships, communication with devotees; Digest 331
To:
Digest 331: September 12th, 2010. Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami
Maharaja
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Loving relationships, communication with devotees
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704) I would like to submit a question regarding devotee relationships. From
my personal experience I notice that while all the devotees are very
wonderfully engaged in service to Sri Guru and Gauranga in different ways,
at the same time they find themselves extremely busy, not having time to
call one-another, inquire about each other's well-being, spend time with
each other in sharing their experiences in Krishna Consciousness etc.
So this sometimes causes me to think back if it isn't true that loving
relationship is the key to our Krsna Consciousness journey.
Personally, I find it very encouraging for my devotional service and
inspiring when I try to keep in touch with all the devotee friends I have,
at least call them, or write to them generally to say Hare Krishna, thinking
they are my family. But I am now beginning to think again if what I am doing
is right. I hope I am not disturbing them by calling them to inquire their
well-being, because everyone other than me seems to be very busily engaged
in services to Guru and Krishna.
May I please request guidance in understanding how I should respond to
situations when very nice devotees say that they have been so busy in
serving Guru and Krishna that they had no time to call or write even 1 line
to other devotees in general? Of course, I am aware that devotees are very
loving and they always wish for the best spiritual well-being of
one-another in their hearts, but what about expressing the same.
Answer: Loving relationships among devotees is indeed a key aspect of
devotional life. Note that it is also *one* of our services to the spiritual
master and Krishna. Devotee interactions is not to be seen as something
apart from service to Guru and Krishna -- this understanding is essential
to healthy spiritual relationships. In other words, these loving
interactions among devotees are meant for "Krishna's pleasure". When
devotees lose sight of this understanding, very quickly the interactions
come under the modes of material nature. One may find oneself trying to
'enjoy' one's friendships in Krishna Consciousness, and the mood of
enjoyment (in the material sense) quickly spoils everything, including
loving relationships. A devotee's attention goes exclusively to pleasing
Guru and Krishna even while interacting with others. This is the only word
of caution I would like to offer regarding your observation about the
importance of devotee interactions.
Neglecting devotee relationships also means neglecting an important
component of the instructions of the spiritual master! When one habitually
gives priority to other services without investing in loving relationships,
it can be quite weakening to one's devotion. However, it is possible that
sometimes 'other' services to the spiritual master do demand much of one's
time and attention and take a higher priority. It would then be a different
variety of 'sense-gratification' to neglect those services and try to enjoy
the company of one another. The key contemplation is to examine one's own
motive for temporarily setting aside other interactions -- if it is to
attend to an important service to the mission of the spiritual master, then
other devotees should respect and support that - that would be their service
to the devotee concerned. On the other hand, it is also the nature of
material energy, particularly in Kali yuga, to keep everyone too busy
managing things rather than find time for loving interactions -- this is
indeed a prevalent disease in the society at large that has deteriorated
loving relationships between family members, neighbors and friends alike.
We must also be considerate of the reality of the complexities of modern
life which does often leave practicing devotees with very little time to
give attention to the primary activities of sadhana bhakti such as hearing
and chanting. Thus, from time to time you will find devotees juggling their
priorities, and you might face yourself in a similar situation some day, too!
Balance is the key. There is a time for all things.
In determining your own priorities, you can be assured that loving
relationships among devotees is irreplacably significant. I encourage you to
continue to warmly extend yourself and/or seek out the association of other
devotees for Krishna's pleasure -- to such extent as would not encroach into
your basic hearing, chanting and prescribed services. Do so without
expectations, but out of your love for them. Continue to treat them like
your own family, while carrying a proper spiritual conception.
When you find other devotees during a particular time frame to be too busy,
you may find it helpful to keep the above various considerations in mind. Be
understanding, and consider if and how you may be of assistance in enhancing
their service. You may serve them just by your being understanding, and
relieving them of their concerns about neglecting/hurting your feelings. You
could offer your practical assistance in any way they might need so that
they will have more time. You could consult with them about their
convenience and prearrange a fixed time for interaction.
As in all activities in devotional service, association with devotees is
also best regulated (as opposed to the pendulum of extremes). You will find
your exchanges more qualitative, focused and uplifting if they are regulated
both in terms of time and content.
If you maintain a nice mood of service, you will find the inspiration how to
respond in a manner that will both strengthen your mutual relationship as
well as increase your respective devotion to Guru and Krsna. This is, after
all, the purpose of all relationships viz. to strengthen each other's faith
and devotion to our common subject of worship.
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Digests 1-330 are available with subject classification at
http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=inquiriesDigest 1-242 are included as a PDF file at:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/Inquiries/IITA_full.pdf Lectures:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=audio and
http://www.caitanya.com(username: guest password: caitanyacom)
Brief biography of His Holiness Romapada Swami:
http://www.romapadaswami.com/?q=HHRPS_bio**************************
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