Couping up with Mental Offences!

Posted by Vrajarani Devi Dasi on December 12, 2009 at 11:09am


I would like to share some of the very important points to be
remembered & practiced daily in our day to day life to coup up with
the Mental Offences. These points are abstracted from a SB class by HG
Gaur Gopal Prabhu. Please note that, these are not word to word
transcription of the lecture.



Prabhuji started with how important it is to please vaisnavas. We can
not see Krishna directly whether He is pleased or not with our
endeavor, but we can see devotees being pleased or not. e.g. If we
want to water the root of the tree we don't pull out the root & put
water on it, but we put water thru the soil. So, devotees are like the
soil thru which Krishna receives services……



Among all other offenses Vaisnava Aparadh is the most dangerous. In
the Purport Srila Prabhupada writes that that we can tolerate the
scorching heat of the sun on our head but it is difficult to tolerate
the same on our feet. Since devotees are always at the Lotus Feet of
the Lord, so, any offence to the devotees will not be tolerated by
Krishna.



Among the vaisnava aparadh, mental offence to a vaisnava is the most
dangerous as these are unidentified; no one is there to tell us or
warn us that we are committing offenses. Other seen offences can be
told & corrected by our devotee friends, but this is not…. So we
should be very carefull.



Types of Mental Offence:



1) Judging someone's character or motivation based on his
particular type of behavior or mistake: e.g. some time we may see that
after a long time some particular devotee calls us over telephone and
asking our wellbeing. That time we may think in our mind that there
might be some motives in his calling after such a long time, that he
wants some particular favour from me like that. Another example, some
time we see some particular devotee is doing something or behaving in
some unnatural manner, then we may think that his character is like
that only…..These are great offences.





2) Revange Fantacies: it mostly comes into our mind during japa
time. Some time it happens that we think about some particular devotee
& we think of taking some revenge. In our mind we may think that 'when
he tells this way, I will reply this way' or even we may think of some
physical revenge….. This is also a type of mental offence.





3) Imagined or Perceived Wrong: e.g. some time we say 'Haribol' to
some devotee & he doesn't reciprocate, then we may think that this
devotee doesn't like me or he neglects me like that…. All we have done
is that we just imagined wrong. May be he is thinking of something
very important & not noticed you……



Effect of Mental Offence:



a) It sucks our taste in Krishna Consciousness & Holy Name

b) It leads to verbal or physical offence

c) It leads to find fault even in Guru & Krishna

d) Eventually all our anarthas & conditionings come up, especially
LUST. e.g. Saburi Muni's cause of fall down is offence to Garuda.



Steps to Coup up with Mental Offences:



1) To remind ourselves that ' He is Right' i.e. giving him
benefit of doubt: Although we see some devotee behaving in some
peculiar manner, we should think that what he is doing is right, may
be I don't understand him. In this way giving him the benefit of doubt
we will keep ourselves from committing mental offence to him. Clear
communication is very important in this case to get the actual
situation. So, we should always get the things clarified & not think
something as our own mind tells…..





2) He Know Not: We should think that may be he doesn't know the
particular fact & so behaving like this. So, without thinking wrong
about him, we may communicate the message to him thru some one he
trusts upon. Thereby we can avoid committing mental offence.





3) I Know Not: We know that we don't know each & everything. We are
not Paramatma. So, there is possibility that what I think or perceive
is not always correct. This is another way to avoid mental offence.





4) Hate the sin & not the sinner: Srila Prabhupada always used to
quote this. He who is without fault may see fault in other to correct
him, but we should not find fault in others as we ourselves are
covered with so many faults. (Recently HG Vaiyasaki Prabhu told me
that fault finding is the deptt of Yamaraja & so let him do his duty.
He is perfect in his duty. According to Bhagvat Gita, we should not do
someone else's duty even if we do it perfectly…….). So, we should hate
the sin & avoid doing that. We should not find fault in the sinner;
rather we may try to correct him. Further, correction should be
Positive Correction and Not Forced Correction.





5) Look for Right / Good: We can always bring the best from a
person if we treat nicely. If we keep on seeing the problems, we would
be consumed by the problems. So, we should always try to see good in
others. If we are gunagrahi we can avoid committing vaisnava
aparadh…..





6) Praying for Right: We should pray to the Lord, " My dear
Krishna, if I am right & he is wrong, please change him; and if he is
right & I am wrong then please change me as I don't want to commit
offence" If we pray like that Krishna will surely reciprocate & save
us from committing offences…..





7) Write the Right: We should write the good qualities of the
devotee in a paper. If we so desire, we can even hand it over to him,
it will establish a good relation / understanding among us. Even if we
don't dare to give it to him, still it will be very helpful in our
part to coup up with mental offences.



So, these are the points Prabhuji has mentioned from practical
experiences, which you won't find any book. Prabhuji has described all
these points so elaborately with sighting so many practical examples.
I could only mention, what ever my short memory could remember.



Prabhuji also stressed that it won't work if we just memorise these
points. We should apply it in our daily life, & then we can see the
result.



So, Dear Devotees, Please pray for me that I can also follow these
steps & prevent myself from committing offences towards you & other
vaisnavas.



Thank you very much!
Vrajarani Devi Dasi

source:http://www.radhanathswami.us/forum/topics/couping-up-with-mental

Couping up with Mental Offences!