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Toxic Vocabulary-Good one to train your mind...

"Toxic Vocabulary"

by Bart Baggett

 

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came as no surprise to my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree, swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

 

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact same time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did.

The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree. I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, Tammy's mother was not as an astute student of language as my father. When Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!"

And Tammy did… fall.

 

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

 

This is why people who try to stop smoking struggle with the ct of stopping smoking. They are running pictures all day of themselves smoking. Smokers are rarely taught to see themselves breathing fresh air and feeling great. The language itself becomes one barrier to success.

 

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.

 

For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk". They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

 

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do. Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

 

The point is made. If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort?

 

You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar. If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite." People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

 

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes 17 positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to 17 compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism. These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children. Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms.

 

Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction. So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I suck.0

I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

 

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.

 

But

Try

If

Might

Would Have

Should Have

Could Have

Can't

Don't

 

But – negates any words that are stated before it.

If – presupposes that you may not.

Would have – past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.

Should have – past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Could have – past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.

Try – presupposes failure.

Might – It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.

Can't / Don't - These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

 

Examples:

 

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"

Likely result: Drops the ball

Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."

Likely result: Watches more television.

Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

 
Posted by Vivek Rastogi at 9:02 PM
 
Yours
Dinesh

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Krsna changes our hearts...

Waiting for that day!!

 
 

Sent to you by dinesh via Google Reader:

 
 

via KKS Blog by noreply@blogger.com (Yadurani dd) on 11/16/10

We cannot change the condition of our heart; that Krsna can do. Our heart is what it is and whatever we feel, we feel. But we can, with our own intelligence, judge the value of our feelings. Are these beneficial for my spiritual progress?

Krsna can make us saints; we cannot ourselves become saints but we can try to act saintly and then Krsna will change the condition of our heart...and that's the idea..

(KKSwami, September 2010, Pretoria)

 
 

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All that we have left is Krsna!

 
 

Sent to you by dinesh via Google Reader:

 
 

via KKS Blog by noreply@blogger.com (Hina) on 11/15/10



Sometimes Krsna takes things away. He takes everything away, then all that we have left is Krsna! When everything is taken away than all you have left is just your Krishna Consciousness – that's all you have.

So sometimes Krsna does that. But sometimes he does that when he sees that we are getting too proud.





(Kadamba Kanana Swami, Canberra, October 2010)

 
 

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Pride is very strong in us

 
 

Sent to you by dinesh via Google Reader:

 
 

via KKS Blog by noreply@blogger.com (Hina) on 11/15/10

It is very difficult to control pride. Pride is very strong in us. When we are humble than it is very difficult. As soon as we are humble, than we become proud that we are humble: "I was so humble today". Means that we are proud. So pride is so deep!

(Kadamba Kanana Swami, Canberra, October 2010)

 
 

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Bad Association

Brahmacarya.info 



Bad Association

Posted: 12 Nov 2010 09:43 AM PST

SB 11.14.29
Being conscious of the eternal self, one should give up association with women and those intimately associated with women. Sitting fearlessly in a solitary place, one should concentrate the mind on Me with great attention.

Commentary:
One who has intimate contact with women and becomes attached to them will gradually lose his determination to go back home, back to Godhead. Association with lusty men gives exactly the same result. Therefore, one is advised to be fearless and to sit down in a solitary place, or a place where there are no lusty men and women committing spiritual suicide. Without fear of failure or of unhappiness in life, one should remain with sincere devotees of the Lord. Atandrita means that one should not compromise this principle but should be rigid and cautious. All this is possible only for one who is ātmavān, or fixed in practical understanding of the eternal soul.

SB 11.14.30
Of all kinds of suffering and bondage arising from various attachments, none is greater than the suffering and bondage arising from attachment to women and intimate contact with those attached to women.

Commentary:
One should make a great endeavor to give up intimate contact with women and those fond of women. A learned gentleman will automatically be on guard if placed in intimate contact with lusty women. In the company of lusty men,, however, the same man may engage in all kinds of social dealings and thus be contaminated by their polluted mentality. Association with lusty men is often more dangerous than association with women and should be avoided by all means. There are innumerable verses in the Bhāgavatam describing the intoxication of material lust. Suffice it to say that a lusty man becomes exactly like a dancing dog and, by the influence of Cupid, loses all gravity, intelligence and direction in life. The Lord warns here that one who surrenders to the illusory form of a woman suffers unbearably in this life and the next.


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